Intimacy: Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering....

By Anonymous - 12/03/2012 04:16 - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 052

You deserved it 4 684

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By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 163

You deserved it 283

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 523

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 764

You deserved it 3 342

Just a question

By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 073

You deserved it 258

Let's get it on

By chief623 - 01/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Ashland

Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 120

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 701

You deserved it 6 765

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 635

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 58 063

Cockstepblocked

By Anonymous - 19/09/2019 18:00

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 470

By lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 4 606

btstig 11

Monday 12 March 2012 12:05

Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " **** punt".

808Boyo 4

Monday 12 March 2012 12:04

Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"

Comments

sadeyes18 1

Tuesday 13 March 2012 20:51

Ouch!

jwhitbee 3

Tuesday 13 March 2012 22:22

OP here. In her defense it was not malicious, just momentarily stupid. She forgot just how many nerve endings there are right there. The flick would not have hurt my arm or ear, though I was doubled over in pain. Not worth getting divorced over and even *I* find it funny in hindsight. Did I get revenge? Yes, it's now on FML.

TahoeFMler 22

Wednesday 14 March 2012 11:25

Well, I'm glad that you were able to take it in stride. Thanks for the update!

charlieinfinite 1

Tuesday 13 March 2012 23:34

You should never shave before a shower anyway. The steam opens up yours pores and when the hairs are cut short, the skin heals over the hair, creating ingrown hairs. Blech!

ebxr82nv 2

Wednesday 14 March 2012 8:10

Mole!!!!

mouxouxou 11

Wednesday 14 March 2012 17:12

Ouch!!! :-o Maybe it was her time of the month?!?!?! :D

JamesDeanSC 0

Thursday 15 March 2012 5:31

Still counts!

picturescrazy 24

Thursday 15 March 2012 6:22

Instead of revenge... make her feel bad for hurting you. Guilt trips are pretty effective at making a woman feel like a huge bitch. Getting revenge will end up with you not getting laid. Lose-lose situation for ya, bud. FYL though, ouch!