Intimacy: Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering.... - FML

By Anonymous - 12/03/2012 04:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 053

You deserved it 4 684

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Same thing different taste

Buzzing the tower

By Princess ? - 12/04/2020 14:00

Spicy

Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 283

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Spicy

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 523

By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 764

You deserved it 3 342

Just a question

By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 074

You deserved it 258

Let's get it on

By chief623 - 01/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Ashland

Spicy

Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 121

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 701

You deserved it 6 765

By Sugao - 10/12/2008 07:48 - France

Spicy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 7 636

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 58 063

Cockstepblocked

By Anonymous - 19/09/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 470

By lateralligator - 12/12/2014 16:35 - Canada - Whitchurch-stouffville

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 4 608

Next

Top comments

btstig 11

Monday 12 March 2012 12:05

Next time she is in the shower. Sneak up on her and kick her in the vag and yell " **** punt".

808Boyo 4

Monday 12 March 2012 12:04

Poke at her love handles or something and yell "Doubled in size!"

Comments

bjcr8978 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 1:41

Lesson learned next time lock the door or when she is shaving go in and smack her ass

ArabFML 3

Tuesday 13 March 2012 1:52

Shave after the shower, opens up the pores for a better shave

Mental1942 6

Tuesday 13 March 2012 2:00

What a bitch

badactor009 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 2:16

Well, shrinkage happens. Just one of those things. Nice of her to notice... but flicking your willy was uncalled for. How would she like to have her bits and pieces flicked?

riptor911 10

Tuesday 13 March 2012 2:55

Women dont understand that that can really hurt.

ironhead_fml 20

Tuesday 13 March 2012 3:20

Hahahahahah hahahaha !!!!!!!

aliLu 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 3:21

it all depends on how you two get along so if she did that it must be because thats how they get along so stfu

mandy_alexandra 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 3:51

ROFL!! Thats something I would do!!! Hahahhahaha

donleischner 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 3:55

Hahahahahahahaha

sweettpie129 11

Tuesday 13 March 2012 4:15

What the actual ****

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I agree, your life sucks 11

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I agree, your life sucks 8 947

You deserved it 1 646

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I agree, your life sucks 7 855

You deserved it 30 874

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I agree, your life sucks 58 241

You deserved it 2 837

Today, two days before our vacation, I caught my wife coaching our six year-old son how to fake nightmares, so he could sleep in our bed every night. I now understand why we never have sex on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 116

Today, despite the fact that we love each other and are perfect together, my boyfriend still refuses to leave his wife. Apparently it will "mess his kids up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 2 824

Today, being a little stressed, I managed to lock my keys inside my car. I was taking this fairly calmly until, while waiting for roadside assistance, I overheard another woman in the same carpark say, "No, of course I didn't lock my keys in the car! I'm not a COMPLETE idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 894

You deserved it 1 331