Intimacy: Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin....

By SamWGovan - 09/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 066

You deserved it 66 962

SamWGovan tells us more.

SamWGovan 6

Monday 10 December 2012 21:51

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

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Top comments

CyborgBanana 12

Monday 10 December 2012 2:56

BOOM! Headshot...

NzaHaFML 13

Monday 10 December 2012 2:55

So what did it taste like?

Comments

a_brony_i_be 6

Monday 14 January 2013 7:40

Not gonna lie it has happened to me. Back before I started a relation ship. Also why cross-legged? That would be an awkward position for that.

WBnathan 5

Tuesday 22 January 2013 7:46

**** dude thats gross

SiHa00095 15

Thursday 14 February 2013 21:49

That's what you get for masturbating. Tsk tsk.

zombieladi 14

Monday 1 April 2013 8:14

wow...sucks for you

hawkknight 24

Thursday 30 May 2013 6:06

So now you know what girls in pornos feel like. Lol.

omwtotheforum 4

Tuesday 11 June 2013 4:26

This made my day

Nederlander95 14

Wednesday 16 April 2014 5:36

YDI for saying "jerkin the gherkin"

Alastor13X 8

Thursday 3 July 2014 7:08

I guess this is where the lyrics " Staring down the barrel of a 45" came from.

kasheahockey 8

Sunday 3 August 2014 16:36

So you gave yourself a facial....?

msbeans 13

Monday 22 December 2014 9:42

Haha guess you know what it feels like to have cum in your eye now, won't be doing it to others anytime soon.

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Bosses Capitalism Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

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