Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box....

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By Anonymous - 23/10/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 727

You deserved it 41 627

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Same thing different taste

Five second rule

By Sore - 04/03/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get a Chloraseptic tablet for my sore throat. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I got the urge to sneeze. When I sneezed, the force of the sneeze caused me to accidentally spit it out… right into the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 100

Rough patch

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 460

You deserved it 2 891

Faulty plumbing

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, after just waking up, I sneezed, which caused me to piss myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 118

By HWS - 15/04/2011 05:47 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 292

You deserved it 7 777

By Anonymous - 29/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 121

You deserved it 3 609

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 19:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 896

You deserved it 4 115

By gimpy - 23/06/2016 15:00 - United States - Panama City

Today, I was carrying my coffee from the kitchen to the coffee table and couch. Last week I had ACL surgery, so I'm on crutches. Unfortunately, I got the urge to sneeze on my walk to the couch. I didn't make it to the couch before I sneezed and spilled coffee everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 251

You deserved it 1 261

Rude awakening

By blackcat37 - 28/09/2013 10:53 - United States - Independence

Today, at 6 in the morning, I sneezed so hard I fell off my bed. I guess I'm up for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 623

You deserved it 4 926

Date night

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 03:00

Today, I sneezed while eating a bowl of soup. As I did, a glob of carrot shot out of my nose like a missile, and I couldn’t stop laughing. My boyfriend, who was sitting across from me, wasn’t so amused when the glob splashed all over his white shirt. He’s now mad at me for “ruining his only smart shirt.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 11:44 - Sweden

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 212

You deserved it 6 113

Alex_DeLarge 0

Friday 23 October 2009 7:31

Yoohoos are awesome!

Maxine17 8

Friday 23 October 2009 9:54

So glad you asked there, Deathbunny256. Sometimes I wish I was American, you always seem to have wonderfully sounding snacks/drinks.

Comments

ggbartoli99 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 2:35

LOL

rajdeep 8

Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:07

brillient!

rajdeep 8

Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:07

brillient!

tkmforlife 4

Tuesday 27 March 2012 4:09

Dude! That's sweet

thejuice1234 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 10:05

That's really funny

diamondbaby16 4

Saturday 7 July 2012 8:32

That's hilarious !

lzmo 20

Saturday 21 December 2013 23:43

Sounds like something I'd do..

Countryboy1996 18

Tuesday 10 March 2015 8:49

I can't stop laughing at this!

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The Top

Today, I work for a public radio station and I found out our funding was slashed in the new federal budget. Meanwhile, there’s a military parade planned for the president’s birthday. I guess I’ll start podcasting from my garage then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 204

Today, I got fired because, while responding to an emergency page for the volunteer fire department to help find a man in a field with a gunshot wound, I backed into a rock with the company truck that I drive to and from work. Nobody asked about the guy with the bullet inside him. He's OK now, in case anyone cares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 169

The Top

Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball game. The other team chanted about the ball being too high and almost hitting the batter in the eye. After throwing the next pitch, the ball was savagely returned by the batter, straight into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 397

You deserved it 2 787

Today, while stocking up in preparation for Hurricane Irma, an old lady hit me over the head with her walker. She wanted the loaf of bread I'd grabbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 556

You deserved it 272

Today, I found out that it's possible to make your sister so mad that she scoops the litter box and hides the contents around your room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 428

You deserved it 1 770

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 776

You deserved it 4 872

Today, I decided to be honest and told my husband I didn't love him anymore. It ended with a warrant for his arrest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 199

You deserved it 3 577

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

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You deserved it 122