Kids: Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little...

By M.SHUKRI - 29/03/2015 12:54 - United States - Round Lake

Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 829

You deserved it 3 242

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 18:47 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me. I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a low whisper, "This is where you die, this is where you die..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 372

You deserved it 3 881

Are you ready to ruuuuuumbbbbbble?

By Mr.Incognito-san - 19/11/2020 02:02

Today, I heard my sisters fighting downstairs, so I went down to see what all the commotion was about. As I entered the room, one of them picked me up and threw me at the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 1 258

Sike

By Anonymous - 20/11/2020 23:02

Today, my 35 year-old sister, who has no job or life, came downstairs and told me she knows I can hear her thoughts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 79

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 15:15 - United States - Lompoc

Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 573

You deserved it 2 283

My family

By Anonymous - 07/01/2020 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I had to listen for over 10 minutes as my brother and grandmother discussed how much they hate me. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 326

Bride of Chucky

By spooked - 22/11/2013 06:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 882

You deserved it 3 811

Victim blaming

By Anonymous - 28/08/2014 21:16 - Portugal

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 130

You deserved it 3 481

By ktiskool - 01/08/2013 04:03 - United States - Imperial

Today, I was watching my 3-year-old sister play in the bathtub. She started screaming at her toys, saying "You're staying under the water until you DIE!" She then looked at me and cackled. I share a room with this demon child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 443

You deserved it 4 152

By xattackattackx - 18/11/2011 09:01 - United States

Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 898

You deserved it 2 755

Bad pranks are annoying

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 20:00

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 703

You deserved it 324

MrSarary 26

Sunday 29 March 2015 19:15

You've got the advantage now, listen to their plan and make your own!! In all seriousness this is pretty scary.

LOLouis_fml 24

Sunday 29 March 2015 19:16

Sounds like a killer conversation!

Comments

vlalam 24

Monday 30 March 2015 1:18

So what's the plan?

Brandi_Faith 33

Monday 30 March 2015 6:39

At least op knows the plan and can now go on the offensive! Outwit them op.

xluciferx666 21

Monday 30 March 2015 2:01

We have a turd in the punch bowl I repeat a turd in the punch bowl

prettyReckless96 10

Monday 30 March 2015 2:39

Ah good old fashioned sibling love

EarlFug 19

Monday 30 March 2015 3:04

The good news is you have your own room. Might want to jam the door like you're in a zombie movie.

ECHOSPiiKES 19

Monday 30 March 2015 3:18

How cute!

Qball56 10

Monday 30 March 2015 4:45

What are you smoking?

Desi_D123 27

Monday 30 March 2015 3:25

Well...was it a good plan OP?

KatieeMoe 14

Monday 30 March 2015 4:32

I say keep an eye on, op.

britbrat237 14

Monday 30 March 2015 5:14

That's sinister right there

TrippingOnAcid 29

Monday 30 March 2015 10:20

I though this FML was going to end in OP overhearing incest. Seems pretty tame now. Starting to think maybe I'm the sinister one.

MSHUKRI 11

Monday 30 March 2015 5:16

Well tbh I share a room with the spawn of satan saying to use a knife And no it's not cute (General statement)

ThatDamHuntress 20

Monday 30 March 2015 6:15

Sounds like something I would do to my brothers but, you might want to sleep with one eye open tonight.

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The Top

Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 202

You deserved it 5 718

Today, my old boss is such an arsehole that not only did he fire me last week, he completely forgot about firing me and when he saw me in the shop as a customer, he yelled at me for being late and out of uniform. I swear his mother didn’t birth him, she shat him out the other hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, after watching a few YouTube tutorials and thinking it looked easy, I decided to cut my own bangs. Halfway through, my scissors broke. Now I have uneven bangs and no way to fix them until I get to a salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 430

Today, my boyfriend and I aren't speaking. He wanted to stay up late to "look for jobs", so I went to bed. An hour later, I was awoken to him screaming. When I ran in to see what was going on, he had a video game open. I shouldn't be mad at him because it was a "mega rare drop", he insists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 143

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for a girl he met through me. I shouldn't feel bad. Apparently, she's exactly like me, only much prettier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 150

You deserved it 832

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 434

You deserved it 10 079

Today, my fiancé refused to talk to me because I'm "an alcoholic". I only started drinking like this after we moved in together and he brought me alcohol every day, because he's an alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 358

Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 94