Intimacy: Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends...

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By badnewsbears - 21/10/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 107

You deserved it 4 436

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By LockandKey - 24/02/2009 23:28 - United States

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 352

You deserved it 28 285

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 00:00 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I saw my crush for the first time since she rejected me and said she was a lesbian. The man she was passionately making out with in the dining hall would state quite the opposite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 191

Curious

By Ghostrui - 15/05/2022 04:00

Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 176

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 02:25 - Canada

Today, I walked in on my parents necking in the living room. I promptly covered my eyes and muttered something about my innocence being stolen from me. My dad looked up from the couch, and mentioned that he had heard my innocence being stolen by Jake, my boyfriend from 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 307

You deserved it 40 857

Body positivity week

By FattieFatFat - 05/09/2023 14:00

Today, I overheard my crush and his friend talking about girls they would date. When his friend mentioned me, my crush said, “If she wasn’t fat, hell yeah.” Choking back tears at school for the rest of the day was not an easy task. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 282

By Anonymous - 23/12/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and wanted to see what he thought of me. Instead of asking him straight, I tugged at my shirt, saying ''I don't know why I wear this top. I always look awful in it." He said, "Are you fishing for a fat joke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 628

You deserved it 45 524

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 983

You deserved it 7 660

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 435

You deserved it 5 060

A tale as old as time

By Di Da - 12/04/2022 12:00 - Switzerland

Today, my friends told me that my crush was hooking up with another girl. I wouldn't have taken it that bad if he hadn't flirted with me all the time, giving me false hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 188

By Noname - 23/01/2009 17:31 - United States

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 158

You deserved it 18 373

chrissyj84 2

Wednesday 21 October 2009 10:39

Someone's picky picky when it comes to uncut dicky.

arienh4 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 13:01

I really don't get the fact that so many people in the US are circumsized, nobody does it over here except for religious reasons.

Comments

ojosverdes26 6

Wednesday 21 October 2009 14:44

CUT DICKS FTW! MMM... I love my fiancé's. Soooo nice! =D

Superawesomestev 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 15:23

you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself. she is conceded, and you don't want to be with a girl like that. no fml.

booze_n_bitches 37

Wednesday 3 February 2016 0:33

Conceited?

kukopia 0

Wednesday 21 October 2009 15:44

Phtttt Tell her it's a condom you already put on.

JassyJas 2

Wednesday 21 October 2009 15:59

Today, I found out the guy I have a crush on has an uncercumsized dick. I told him I wish I never see that. I was lying to look cool but he didn't know. FML