Miscellaneous: Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving...

By Anonymous - 19/04/2015 15:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 759

You deserved it 7 903

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Bambi - 12/08/2009 06:49 - United States

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 197

You deserved it 46 189

By Anonymous - 28/10/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of footsteps outside my room. I investigated but found nothing. As I went back to my room, I heard a sort of giggling from inside. I was so scared, I grabbed my car keys, got the fuck out of there, and drove to my girlfriend's house in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 630

You deserved it 3 138

Creepypasta time

By Saw - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 006

You deserved it 2 717

By damncat - 08/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 527

You deserved it 33 321

By copshop - 10/11/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 292

You deserved it 36 046

Awkward…

By ApolloandDixie - 23/12/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 232

You deserved it 35 361

By blackandblue - 02/11/2010 16:26 - United States

Today, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up. It was after dark and I was nervous, so when he pulled up I immediately jumped in the car. The young girl in the driver's seat started freaking out, screaming and punching me in the face repeatedly. I'd accidentally gotten in the wrong car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 373

You deserved it 28 822

By FUCKKKS - 03/03/2013 17:37 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 935

You deserved it 6 096

By BIZZMAL - 05/01/2011 02:44 - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 312

You deserved it 32 629

By dani911 - 15/07/2009 01:16 - United States

Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 711

You deserved it 37 368

Welshite 39

Monday 20 April 2015 0:11

This is exactly why I carry a bottle of coca-cola with me at all times. I never know when I'll need it to bribe a polar bear.

musicnole 8

Monday 20 April 2015 0:07

I really hope you weren't driving...

Comments

cakefete2 30

Monday 20 April 2015 0:19

With the rising temperatures around the world the polar bears are beginning to adapt to warmer weather. California today, next week, Cancun.

amileah13 26

Monday 20 April 2015 0:20

Time to go to sleep if you can op!

abNormal62 23

Monday 20 April 2015 0:23

you're visualizing white bears in California and claiming your sleep deprived? Are you sure you are not bi-polar?

Evil_Jester 17

Monday 20 April 2015 0:35

Take some time for yourself and get some sleep

wakemeupplease 21

Monday 20 April 2015 1:00

lol are you sure you didn't take something and it was just lack of sleep?

HeWhoIsNameless 9

Monday 20 April 2015 1:01

Dude. Get some freaking sleep. You're not right!

Exaspera 54

Monday 20 April 2015 1:11

Maybe shouldn't have been behind the wheel!?

SammiixSue 13

Monday 20 April 2015 1:12

...something tells me that you shouldn't be driving...

lulinator 40

Monday 20 April 2015 1:20

Just a regular every day occurrence in Canada!

SweetIam 12

Monday 20 April 2015 1:27

Get some sleep!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 63

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 999

The Top

Today, it was one of those days when my housemates thinks they can bug me every five minutes when I'm trying to work from home. Doing this or talking about that, wrecking my train of thought on complicated work until it's a railyard of disaster. Is it five o'clock yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 123

Today, after weeks of slaving away, I finally wrapped up the last house project on the backlog. I decided to take a day to relax around the house in celebration. My wife spent all day following me around, moaning that I never go anywhere, and that she never gets any space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 110

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 083

You deserved it 3 105

Today, my ex asked me if he could live with me so he wouldn't be homeless. He also asked if he could introduce me to his new girlfriend so they wouldn't have "trust issues." This coming from the same guy living with grandma and mom, who has no job, no car, and basically dumped me for her. Like, sure buddy I'll get right on making her feel comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 136

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 176

You deserved it 575

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, only for her to slap me, throwing the "fake ring" away and storming off, convinced it was a cruel joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 038

You deserved it 3 768

Same thing different taste

Creepypasta time

Awkward…

Top comments

Comments