Animals: Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog...

By misTreated - 30/05/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 987

You deserved it 5 564

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Same thing different taste

By Jacklyn - 18/03/2012 19:18 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 775

You deserved it 20 094

By TrulyYours - 07/05/2009 12:39 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 559

You deserved it 5 915

By secret - 02/11/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 742

You deserved it 5 435

By alphabetman - 14/09/2009 09:56 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Thinking I was being cute I spelled out "Marry Me" in alphabet soup, because that's her favorite. She took one look at it and started to laugh. She then began to spell out "no". She still ate the soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 944

You deserved it 6 800

Wet dream

By Annettedarling - 21/04/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog acted out a scene from Disney with me, by causing me and a member of the opposite sex to fall into a river after tangling our legs with the lead. No, it didn't lead to marriage, just me being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 999

You deserved it 532

Good boy

By TrainedBF - 12/09/2009 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is a dog trainer, was telling me all about the techniques she uses at work. I commented on how the dogs must be stupid to fall for such simple tricks, to which she replied, "They worked on you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 738

You deserved it 47 113

By Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 244

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

By Anonymous - 27/11/2011 22:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 457

You deserved it 3 604

By aoliver03 - 11/09/2018 18:30

Today, I spilled my guts out to my fiancé about some insecurities I've been having. I then turned to look at him through tears at his expressionless face as he texted someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 195

You deserved it 331

SeedlessMe 13

Sunday 30 May 2010 18:13

yes. you say the word 'treat' or 'cookie' in my house, you better be prepared with some for the beasts or you get harrassed!

Familia08 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 12:09

DUMBASS!

Comments

Chaotonic 2

Sunday 30 May 2010 13:01

Dogs reconize certain words, if they can come when called then they are bound to know that the sounds people make to say "treat" = yummy delicious food to them. Now if only the fiancee would understand what Make me a sammich, woman, meant.

chenoa_fml 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 14:10

lol I didn't know someone had already explained the phenomena :)

HeretoBlame 3

Sunday 30 May 2010 13:10

your boyfriend must feel like shit for not understanding....

wintamint101 7

Sunday 30 May 2010 13:46

we used to hve to do this with our dog but she still understands it

thrillhouse100 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 13:57

look on the bright side now you can say things to people in secret..the dog and your fiance wont understand :)

ToNstAAr 8

Sunday 30 May 2010 14:00

Lol did you spell it wrong?

knightknight 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 14:12

maybe he's dyslexic? you guys are a bunch of mean *****

frankb17 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 14:46

haha that stimks

ICuDDy 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 14:46

Cool, Ydi For Choosing a Retarded Partner.

autumn16 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 15:49

haha your picture is like sayin "**** me" lol juss sayin

LilAfo 4

Sunday 30 May 2010 16:45

lol, feelin invited or what? :b

omgtacos 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 17:00

43 your cleavage is like saying I am a *****, **** me... Get an appropriate picture

afallingstar 22

Sunday 30 May 2010 14:54

he dumb...don't have kids with him...

autumn16 0

Sunday 30 May 2010 15:13

so she's a dumb bitch?? lol I bet she's blonde (: just sayin ^_^

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Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

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Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 433

You deserved it 21 176

Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 4 692

The Top

Today, a man next door has been coughing constantly for past 3 months and I can hear him despite closing my windows. During the day there's construction noise and at night this asshole. I asked him many times to close his windows but he won't. Now I play coughing on a speaker at the same time he starts, just to piss him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 388

Today, I learned that my insatiable appetite and sex drive is because I'm 5 months pregnant. I'm married to a woman. We had a threesome one drunken night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 857

You deserved it 4 891

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 158

You deserved it 3 943

Today, for my 18th birthday, my parents gave me a Spotify Car Thing. Not only do I not own a car, I won't be able to afford one before this crap tech gadget turns into a useless brick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 95

Today, I went to what I thought was my friend’s house for a barbecue. I walked into the backyard and started chatting with people I didn't recognize. After about 20 minutes, I realized I was at the wrong house, eating a stranger's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 450

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 864

You deserved it 168 648

Same thing different taste

Wet dream

Good boy

Blame the pooch

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