Kids: Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids...

By Anonymous - 19/04/2011 15:06 - United States

Today, I was taking a crap in a public stall when three kids broke down the door and pelted me with eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 149

You deserved it 6 182

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Same thing different taste

By eggs - 28/02/2009 06:30 - Canada

Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 404

You deserved it 9 219

By Anonymous - 18/06/2019 06:44

Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 1 441

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 568

You deserved it 4 607

By Rizmo - 25/09/2016 07:11 - United States - Cedar City

Today, I found out that the loud noise outside my bedroom a few weeks ago was neighborhood kids throwing eggs at my window, landing on the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 511

You deserved it 743

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 7 258

By Anonymous - 07/10/2011 03:21 - United States

Today, my car got acquainted with about 3 dozen eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 493

You deserved it 3 360

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 095

You deserved it 3 149

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 773

Volcanic

By poopshooter101 - 30/06/2009 11:53 - United States

Today, I was at Walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong, she said that I'd "killed her nose." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 767

You deserved it 9 343

By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 175

You deserved it 3 307

MyMuse7 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:52

I would have pelted them with my shit

amerwin 3

Tuesday 19 April 2011 18:50

I would've scrambled out of their as quickly as possible.

Comments

greenhair741 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:15

was it eggciting 

Shy_Anne 10

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:33

don't shit in public bathrooms >_<

rerbell7 2

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:42

why havent i done that yet?

Eemariee 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:51

just be glad it wasn't paintballs...

kpiere822 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:53

you should have shoved your shit down there throats

stallion2521 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 7:00

you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet

lexiemae97 9

Wednesday 20 April 2011 7:06

kids these days.... :D

Barney_Rubble_75 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 7:12

ha ha ha! I'm going to have to do that to someone! pure awesomeness.

oliveindamiddle 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 7:15

yeah, that's what I do in my spare time too... haahah what the heck

jcdiva7 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 7:20

Bratty kids

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The Top

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 464

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 44 810

The Top

Today, I was feeling really down and decided to text a friend to vent to someone about it. Then I realized, I don’t have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 071

You deserved it 311

Today, at school, some kid I’ve never liked came up to me and said, to my face, "I’m really happy to hear about your mom." She died two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 487

You deserved it 79

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 879

You deserved it 2 602

Today, the guy I have been going out with for six months cheated on me with the only girl I hate the most in the world. That girl ruined my previous relationship too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 213

You deserved it 110

Today, it was the last day of school. My students shared what they thought of me. Expecting to hear wonderful things, all of their complaints can be summed up in a few words: I'm a liar, a killer of dreams, I need to grow up, and I was a big disappointment to them. I'm a first-year teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 339

You deserved it 14 674

Today, I've been told that the test I have tomorrow, which I've been studying for, is not on 'Parent and Child Relationships' but on 'Scotland's Fishing Communities'. My brother thought it would be funny to hide the real booklet, and make up his own one for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 293

Same thing different taste

Not now, Kelsey

Volcanic

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