Love: Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway...

By brob56 - 23/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 82 747

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 39 067

By biggmouth - 26/03/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 358

You deserved it 119 755

By Anonymous - 02/08/2014 00:20 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 322

You deserved it 3 887

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 137

You deserved it 3 515

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 04:13 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 086

You deserved it 4 449

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 43 810

Nope, not me

By mycar - 20/08/2013 17:40 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented, "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 970

You deserved it 6 301

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 100

You deserved it 20 255

By Bullet - 13/08/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 281

You deserved it 3 373

Thanks

By Miami6and3 - 26/08/2013 18:22 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 488

You deserved it 5 318

DarthFurby 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:12

you were STANDING IN THE DRIVEWAY and you couldn't see that it was a real person? YDI

Jasper_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:10

you deserved it, ********.

Comments

wendychi 0

Friday 24 April 2009 1:14

Wait. Dummy as in like, mannequin, right? Because I've found that dummies are usually pretty average looking and not fat. o_O So uh. YDI.

Asia_Aneka 0

Friday 24 April 2009 2:46

Was the daughter not moving at all or did her mother chain her down cause she's an ugly she-beast? Dummies usually don't move and kids don't usually sit still. I can't see why you didn't notice that. She should've backed over you in her driveway.

lostathome 0

Friday 24 April 2009 3:28

Hilarious.

that_funny_girl 0

Friday 24 April 2009 5:20

Lol I agree with number with #75! Why would she have a dummy in her car anyway?? And as other people have pointed out, how could you not have known she has a kid?

the20001ththing 0

Friday 24 April 2009 19:37

PLEASE, tell me the punchline to the start of that hilarious joke you were about to make.

patray_angel 0

Friday 24 April 2009 20:09

Why would you say something like that had there been an actual dummy in the car and not a real person? Maybe the "dummy" belonged to her grandma who had just died or something..either way, it could have had a lot of sentimental value. Like all the others, I honestly don't get how you couldn't tell that the "dummy" in the car was a real person. Even if her daughter was an infant or toddler who was sound asleep in their carseat, the fact that they were in a carseat would have also been a clue that they were not a dummy.