Intimacy: Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow....

By Shower? - 19/10/2009 07:26 - France

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 437

You deserved it 6 399

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Same thing different taste

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 374

You deserved it 17 911

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 642

You deserved it 4 159

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 058

You deserved it 906

By Anonymous - 12/07/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 725

You deserved it 29 693

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 364

You deserved it 1 521

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 960

You deserved it 40 647

By jodibut - 06/02/2012 16:18 - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 764

You deserved it 8 060

Funky

By Cleanfreak? - 25/06/2017 00:00 - Denmark - ?lborg

Today, I got into an argument, followed by the silent treatment from my boyfriend, because I told him that he should change his underwear daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 951

You deserved it 597

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 11:40 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 828

You deserved it 2 286

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 533

wellinever 5

Monday 19 October 2009 16:07

Shower together. Only so you can be sure that he is as clean as you. Now it's not an FML any more.

FromCFL 0

Monday 19 October 2009 16:29

YDI for having to be told to take a shower.

Comments

bmfdiesel 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 2:00

I like how #24 was being all brilliant with a correction on someone elses comment about spelling! And then misspelled "generaliSations"!! Sorry boss, it's a Z!

Darling_Cherry 5

Tuesday 20 October 2009 19:25

Hate to break it to you number thirty six, but using "s" in place of "z" in certain words is acceptable depending on where you're from. I know Kiwis spell like that because I used to work with one; so do Europeans. Not everyone on here is from the United States. :-p Darling Cherry, vocabulary extraordinaire

Superawesomestev 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 3:57

I would start by washing your feet in the toilet. flush twice.

MiseryMan 0

Tuesday 20 October 2009 4:54

Yes OP, please use a douche too. Girls who don't cleanup down there leave behind a terrible stench on both the bed sheets and on the guy's member.

Darling_Cherry 5

Tuesday 20 October 2009 7:43

I never knew that cocks smell like roses.

perdix 29

Tuesday 20 October 2009 17:36

Mine smells like peanut butter for some reason. And it is NOT that I smear it with peanut butter, that's just its natural smell, or so I have been told. I'm not flexible enough to sniff it myself.