Work: Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One...

By Paramedic - 17/11/2009 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 129

You deserved it 4 450

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 180

You deserved it 2 587

By Benjamin - 28/10/2011 01:22 - Canada

Today, I was rear-ended by a girl barely out of her teens. I got out of my car and went to get her insurance details, only for her mother to get out and up in my face, screaming at me to, "Get back in your fucking car and get the fuck out of here!" I panicked and did just that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 172

You deserved it 38 644

Am I being detained?

By KidJwal - 28/02/2012 17:10 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 6 967

By badtiming - 15/09/2010 04:15 - United States

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 3 292

By Flipside - 02/05/2009 00:46 - United States

Today, as I was driving home, I saw a woman get hit by a car. I immediately parked on the side of the road to assist her. I called an ambulance and stayed with her until they came to get her, comforting her all the while. When I returned to my car, I found a parking ticket in my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 721

You deserved it 6 479

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 373

You deserved it 10 388

By hurricane0331 - 24/06/2010 01:51 - United States

Today, a 75 year-old lady drove into me. Her excuse was, "I wasn't looking." Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 120

You deserved it 3 305

Easy mistake to make

By Notmyfault - 22/11/2023 02:30

Today, I almost got in trouble at work, all because I inadvertently referred to a 19 year-old patient’s 47 year-old husband as her father. I didn’t know this until she got so upset that she threw a tantrum, filed a complaint against me, and requested another nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 100

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 416

By anonymous - 28/12/2010 18:03 - Canada

Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 095

You deserved it 4 052

timtam24 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 16:07

bastard, how could you?

Suree 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 16:29

So now you've learned that you always state "around 29". ;-)

Comments

possumisawesome 0

Tuesday 17 November 2009 23:37

Now, if she had cooperated and given information, she wouldn't have been called a mid-thirties woman. *eyeroll*

Yapanesedidwhat 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 0:15

HAHAHAHAAHAHAA! thats awesome!

allie2590 31

Wednesday 18 November 2009 0:55

If she could stop crying long enough to slap you and tell you her correct age, then she must've been faking most of it to get pity.

brokebod 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 0:57

What a weirdo, she didn't deserve your help and was probably sobbing for attention.

babylon_pride 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 1:19

Obviously she's faking it for either pity or the ability to sue someone. The bitch.

Laxloverr24 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 2:15

call her ugly betty to get a name out of her.

icanfloat12 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 4:36

ha what a bitch tell her to quit smoking

lolhahahahhahaaa 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 4:40

this is funny love it man

Twincest 11

Wednesday 18 November 2009 5:00

So? ...did you slap her back? or pussied-out?

RigChan 0

Wednesday 18 November 2009 6:20

File a complaint about her for assault and battery? :X

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

Today, I woke up from a night of serious depression, drinking by myself at home, to find a USB stick wrapped in plastic up my vagina, with "Top secret" written on it. There was nothing on the stick when I checked. I may need to give tequila a rest and switch back to gin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 1 831

The Top

Today, I got written up at work for clocking back in from lunch early. Yesterday I got a verbal warning for coming back late. I'm scared to go to lunch at all now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 894

You deserved it 4 694

Today, during my sister’s baby shower, my 3 year-old daughter choked on a piece of food. My sister got upset because this apparently attracted a lot of attention from the other guests, and called my daughter an “attention whore” for “choosing today of all days to make a damn scene.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 128

Today, I called my wife to tell her I finally found a job after 6 months. A man answered the phone claiming to be the cable guy. We cut our cable off when I was laid off 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 810

You deserved it 2 585

Today, my stepmom asked me to bake pies for a dinner party she was having. Since I love baking, I said yes. When I went to deliver the pies, I found out they were for a family dinner I wasn't invited to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 266

You deserved it 1 638

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 182

Today, one of my usually unpleasant managers offered me a slice of cheese cake for doing a good job. I declined, but after some pestering on his part I finally accepted it. I have been violently ill for the past two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 704

You deserved it 3 886

Same thing different taste

Am I being detained?

Easy mistake to make

Pissed

Top comments

Comments