Intimacy: Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being...

By Anonymous - 25/08/2015 07:32 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 7 146

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Same thing different taste

Mood ruined

By InterestingReaction - 10/04/2022 04:00

Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 526

By Anonymous - 20/06/2009 11:13 - Switzerland

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 803

You deserved it 97 688

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 365

You deserved it 5 692

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 159

You deserved it 5 701

Not really the desired effect

By Ouchithurt - 04/08/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 018

You deserved it 21 065

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 701

You deserved it 6 765

By joe rogan fucking sucks, dude - 27/04/2014 20:51 - Australia - Warwick

Today, my girlfriend informed me that during the night, I shot up in bed and whimpered tearfully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decided to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 140

You deserved it 5 095

By shit.... - 08/11/2012 18:25 - Malaysia - Kuala Selangor

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 635

You deserved it 31 360

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 205

You deserved it 3 765

Deez nutz hurtz

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 15:01

Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 083

You deserved it 523

myoukei 31

Tuesday 25 August 2015 21:56

Her: "I'll make you scream baby .... That was not what i intended"

Jowisee 29

Tuesday 25 August 2015 21:53

Well that'll get her in the mood.

Comments

Pinto_2015 9

Tuesday 25 August 2015 23:44

Not enough oooo's in smooth for that maneuver lover boy.

gosh_mate 30

Tuesday 25 August 2015 23:54

This should be illustrated!

False_Stupidity 41

Wednesday 26 August 2015 0:10

Wow, I couldn't help cringing at this FML. You must have some real low hanging balls for this to even happen. **** your life indeed, although I hope your girlfriend was sympathetic and offered to kiss things better or otherwise take your mind off it.

vikky538 28

Wednesday 26 August 2015 0:56

Feel your pain bro..

writergirl1029 17

Wednesday 26 August 2015 0:56

Kidney stones, UTIs, and breaking your femur are worse, but those are tough competition. At least OP can take some comfort in knowing that he was fully justified in screaming like a girl.

kevinhlee93 7

Wednesday 26 August 2015 0:56

Are your balls that saggy?...

zyero 9

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:00

Got to admit sitting on your balls hurts... A lot... A hell of a lot especially hip dropping on them, my balls are having sympathy pains after reading this fml

EarlFug 19

Wednesday 26 August 2015 1:25

Sure it hurts to sit on your balls... a lot. But it's not like you got hit with a hammer, you sat on a mattress. 1. Sobbing like a girl? C'mon dude. 2. Even saying sobbing "like a girl"? Disrespectful I hope you were just exaggerating to get published because that is just weak. It's fine to express the pain you're in but it passes. Then you can have a laugh and back to sexy unless you're still being a wuss. I'm sure she would have been first in line to kiss it better if you weren't being a wuss.