Miscellaneous: Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained...

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 17:12 - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 460

You deserved it 65 607

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Same thing different taste

By Kasnt - 03/10/2010 18:50 - United States

Today, I really had to pee so I took the only stall that was available in the bathroom: the handicapped stall. A girl in a wheelchair came in seconds later and cursed at me for taking her designated spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 545

You deserved it 8 227

**** OFF, thanks

By please leave... - 13/02/2013 19:33 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 164

You deserved it 6 373

By bathroomseww - 12/05/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 162

You deserved it 12 404

By babs - 07/05/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 170

You deserved it 4 751

Don't call me Shirley

By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 13:09 - Sweden - Solna

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 633

You deserved it 28 760

Little shit

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 18:00 - United States - Fpo

Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 391

On the can

By Mortified - 31/03/2020 14:00

Today, I was using the bathroom at Costco when a janitor forced my door open so she could mop, then didn't bother to close it again. Apparently, the handicapped stall was too big for her to see me sitting in the corner, and I had to awkwardly squat-walk all the way to the door to close it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 883

You deserved it 200

Mexican Standoff

By JillianJuneBug - 17/08/2019 18:00

Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 646

Good spirited

By Elle - 28/12/2022 04:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, it was a normal day working as a medical receptionist, until I told a wheelchair-bound patient to “take a seat” out of habit. She responded with, “I brought my own!” I have never felt more embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 304

By maniac11 - 11/10/2012 00:58 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 505

You deserved it 6 589

carebearusaf 6

Wednesday 19 December 2012 21:57

Maybe next time you won't be such a twatdangler, and wait patiently.

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 19 December 2012 21:57

"How long can she stay in there for? Is she handi-crapped or something? I've seen constipated turtles push one out faster than this bitch! Haul ass, woman!" You're not funny and you should mind your business like that OP with the van or the iPad

Comments

DracoSpirita 21

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:08

Don't make assumptions about people, and don't joke about people with disabilities. Comments like that usually just lead to making you look like a dumbass or getting hurt by people close to the disabled. In your case, the former. YDI

ICastillo 24

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:09

You're not funny and you should feel bad about your horrible jokes. If you're a guy you are lucky he didn't whoop your ass.

hateevryone 14

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:13

Dumbass I bet you'll think twice about doing that now.

lambda_fml 40

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:13

Well I sincerely hope you apologised afterwards.

Spectre529 12

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:14

This why you keep those comments as thoughts and not spurt them out to random people.

CheeseHater 23

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:17

What a total douche. Who acts in this manner?

1dvs_bstd 41

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:17

Personally, I think it was an innocent enough douchebaggery but still one nonetheless. Someone could be having killer diarrhea or incredibly sick. Patience is a virtue.

emeraldisle 30

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:23

YDI you ******* twat.

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:25

OP: Damn! What's taking so long? *pee-pee dancing* Husband: *Stale faced* OP: Did the bitch fall in the toilet and drown? Haha, get it dude? Drowned? (Sorry, this is my first written play)

DracoSpirita 21

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:34

Woo! *whistles and claps* Encore! Encore!

sisco2901 20

Wednesday 19 December 2012 22:30

Even if you didn't know she she was handicapped and he was her husband, why the hell would ANYONE want to listen to the crap that falls out of your mouth to and about people you don't even know in the first place?