Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting....

By mynameis - 13/11/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, I was walking to the parking lot from class while texting. When I looked up as I approached my parking spot, I noticed the words "F*ck you Dave" keyed into my car. Hi, my name is Clare. Who's Dave? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 465

You deserved it 2 255

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Same thing different taste

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 145

New phone, who dis?

By Raleigh - 13/10/2024 16:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 121

Overreaction

By anonymous - 02/06/2013 05:20 - United States - Yorktown Heights

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 722

You deserved it 15 862

By mickstinator - 25/06/2009 15:37 - United States

Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 271

You deserved it 7 233

By Anonymous - 03/01/2015 21:16 - United States - Newark

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 080

You deserved it 2 280

By jason - 24/04/2009 13:24 - United States

Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 280

You deserved it 76 748

By Dansonn - 17/03/2009 03:17 - United States

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200 811

You deserved it 10 625

By hannibal - 02/11/2010 13:44 - Australia

Today, I heard a loud-speaker announcement in my college that someone had left their car in the car park, still running, with keys in the ignition. I laughed at that person's foolishness until I realised it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 846

You deserved it 37 428

By apparentlyunattractive - 07/06/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, someone left a note on my car, saying "You're gorgeous. Call me. #######." I called the number and they said they saw me in the store I was in, telling me "You were the ONLY attractive person in there." We decided to meet up. He walks over, I say hi, he says "I think I put my number on the wrong car." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 058

You deserved it 7 463

Bystander

By Chops - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 315

You deserved it 4 523

spayellow 0

Friday 13 November 2009 16:40

Ummm... I think it's pretty obvious that "d-a-v-e" is "clare" written very poorly. You can't expect perfect penmanship with a key, can you?

8trickster8 0

Friday 13 November 2009 16:24

There's a lot of these "wrong name keyed into my car" FML's. Maybe it's just the same guy for each one? Hmmm, I think I'm on to something.

Comments

fawfulster 11

Saturday 14 November 2009 1:35

I guess there's cammeras to solve your problem... FYL

iBou_fml 4

Saturday 14 November 2009 2:15

hahahha, added to fav.

blastvortex 3

Saturday 14 November 2009 9:57

You should've added a comma to make it grammatically correct. :)

mc_pickles 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 11:01

:D my name is clare too! :D

fotc77 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 22:03

this is happening a lot on fml

bear1414 0

Sunday 22 November 2009 5:00

My name is Clare too!!! I'm sorry bout your car, that really sux..... but the fact there is no "i" in your name made my day!! you too #71

RedInThaHead 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 7:44

lol hahahah

Bcfrmkc816 17

Saturday 18 June 2011 13:19

saves not here man.

yaaypenguinss 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 10:37

damn that suckss

hiddenpoet 0

Monday 6 February 2012 3:26

DAVE'S NOT HERE MAN

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 822

You deserved it 4 306

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 895

You deserved it 2 259

The Top

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 275

You deserved it 3 567

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 082

You deserved it 4 461

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 839

You deserved it 4 519

Today, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album. I’m a life long Swiftie. I also had a baby last year. Her name is Aimee. One of the lyrics in Taylor’s new song is “F**ck you, Aimee.” Now I can’t listen to this album with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 509

Today, a spider came down from its web in front of my face. This would have been fine and I could have killed it easily if I wasn't in my car. Driving on the highway. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 333

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 8 865