Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML - FML

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 805

You deserved it 36 005

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Same thing different taste

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 477

You deserved it 554

Dinnertime

By u.p.i.c. - 02/08/2019 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 565

By The horror... - 11/11/2015 16:52 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 375

You deserved it 3 172

By pootie - 11/12/2013 13:14 - United States - Miami

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 579

You deserved it 7 567

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 590

You deserved it 4 009

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 253

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 345

You deserved it 12 939

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 15:01 - United States - Fargo

Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 476

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 578

You deserved it 4 536

Ouch!

By P0wned - 29/09/2009 21:21 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 974

You deserved it 5 273

Next

Top comments

SHAAAAAARK 1

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:10

Family Guy much?

Raina1122 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 16:10

WTF is wrong with that??!

Comments

mandude21 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 7:06

u fail at life

gazelle_fml 0

Thursday 11 March 2010 7:11

****

OasC82 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 3:03

That's ****** sweet.

sokroker13_fml 0

Sunday 4 April 2010 20:27

ur rly stupid if u think this is an fml...

brainiac94 0

Tuesday 4 May 2010 3:31

that's not an FML! that's an epic win!

Skypinklove 0

Friday 2 July 2010 9:44

Wow people. Chill out, you don't have to be so damn mean. If you think you wasted your time reading this, you're just wasting more time complaining about it. Jeez. Grow up.

Dmbl12 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 14:04

Hahaha. Awesome

barbie333 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 5:02

#5??? uh gross and I think this is hilarious

lovelydrop 0

Thursday 14 April 2011 15:25

my younger brother does that everyday and laughs so why would it be a prob 4 u? O.o

mullinja 0

Monday 4 July 2011 4:20

Today, I was browsing FML and stumbled upon this shitty FML. FML

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Today, I'm going through a long dry spell, so I asked my ex-wife and the last woman I was intimate with how they were physically attracted to me. They started listing things like financial stability, trustworthy, safe and nice to talk to. I just wanted to be called handsome. FML

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I agree, your life sucks 1

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Today, I told my husband to stop his friendship with our neighbor’s 17 year-old daughter. They claim they just play video games together, but lately he’s been uninterested in sex and barely shows me any affection. He vehemently said, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything! Chill!” and stormed out of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 151

Today, I filled a bag full of Beer Cheese soup. Set it on the passenger seat to take home. Got home to realize the bag was leaking. The passenger seat and floor are covered in soup. My car is new. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 1 251

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 086

You deserved it 3 368

Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford gifts for us kids, what they really meant was that they weren't buying a gift for me. I found this out when I overheard my father telling my uncle about the things he got my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 462

You deserved it 1 346

Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 140

Today, I got frustrated looking for jobs and decided to take a quiz on best-fitting careers. My results speak for themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 377