Health: Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a...

By EpicFailAtItsFinest - 13/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 511

You deserved it 19 525

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 053

You deserved it 13 974

By Soap0015 - 16/08/2012 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 203

You deserved it 2 811

Baywatched out

By Username - 01/09/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 10 039

By mrWrong - 25/03/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 966

You deserved it 12 116

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 419

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 237

By Whoopsie - 25/07/2018 05:00

Today, I had to call 911 and explain to the operator that my girlfriend orgasmed so hard she had a seizure and passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 582

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 425

You deserved it 2 883

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 08:01

Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 81

Great first impression

By FirstImpressionist - 11/05/2022 14:00

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 135

Jessick_1 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:06

"Today, I had a seizure. I thought the lifeguard would save me but turns out they managed to knock themself out because they panicked. The ambulance took them to hospital, forgetting about me. FML" Poor woman.

SomeDude148 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:02

Maybe you should get a new job.

Comments

furi7 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:19

Well, at least the ambulance guys weren't dissappointed that you wasted their time or anything.

tipple 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:20

You're not much of a lifeguard, are you? Is the tree ok?

theset3 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 23:22

win!

Fraggle 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:25

....DO quit your day job!

alex_vik 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:26

Note to self: DON'T rely on the life guard in case of an emergency.

PlasticShark 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:28

How the hell did you get all the way to a tree...? Unless it was an outdoor pool :

starberries 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 21:14

You know, there are indoor pools, but outdoor ones are hardly rare. Weird comment.

theset3 0

Sunday 17 April 2011 23:24

ya. we regular ppl actually have to swim outside. shocker!

shmunk 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:32

i have seizures a lot. and while i understand what people are saying about how bad it was that you didn't come through and as a lifegaurd you should be able to handle high-pressure situations, i understand how frightening those are to see. even my closest family members have froze up at the sight of me having a seizure. it's a really disconserting thing to see. and no amount of lifegaurd training can really prepare you for it. dont be too hard on yourself, but maybe reach out to that woman and apologize.

SomeDude121489 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:45

What the hell bro?! why are you a lifeguard then? Go find a new job. One where you don't have to run away from serious situations. Dum-bass

marcusaurelius 0

Monday 13 April 2009 10:54

some lifeguard you are... I bet you faint at the sight of blood too...

hahahahaa_fml 0

Monday 13 April 2009 11:04

im calling am obvious fake on this one. as a lifegaurd myself, both at beaches and multiple outdoor pools, how did a tree get in the way. beaches dont have random trees between lifeguard chairs and the ocean and pools shouldnt either. this is complete bs. plus, what lifeguard panics when it comes time to do his job. thats what youre paid for and trained to do. going into shock and walking into a tree? what the ****. that doesnt happen when you go into shock and i dont think anyone is that ****** up to just walk into a tree. even if you 'did' walk into a tree, thats enough to know you out and send you to the hospital? please be fake or you my friend have serious problems.