Work: Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling...

By ihatethisjob - 27/09/2013 08:18 - United States - Romulus

Today, I was working the night shift when a guy came in smelling like alcohol. He kept muttering his order, so I leaned over the register to hear him better. My ear now smells of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 851

You deserved it 4 437

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Ammile - 25/12/2018 04:00

Today I had a customer come into my office smelling like feces, urine and body odor. I tried not to get sick to my stomach but failed miserably. I threw up in my trash can in front of him. It now smells like feces, urine, body odor and vomit in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 908

You deserved it 197

By h0308 - 08/09/2009 09:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 4 610

By what the fuck, mate - 30/09/2012 19:00 - Australia

Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 454

You deserved it 2 573

Love is love

By anonymous-canada - 07/12/2010 05:28

Today, I was working a midnight shift when a guy came in drunk and was trying to get me to come home with him. I said I had a boyfriend. As I said this, my manager, who has no teeth and B.O, said he was my boyfriend. I will never live this down with my co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 853

You deserved it 4 290

Go away

By xharuki - 29/08/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before our closing time at 2 a.m. and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 3 527

By soembarrassed - 02/08/2009 13:40 - Australia

Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 523

You deserved it 12 489

By NotBeingPaidEnough - 03/03/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a crazy homeless guy got angry because I wouldn't sell him a bottle of vodka at half price. He got so irrationally mad, he put his fingers down his throat, and threw up on my checkout counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 457

You deserved it 1 323

Thank you for your service

By vomitgirl - 28/04/2015 05:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 141

You deserved it 2 455

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 2 256

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 027

You deserved it 46 455

logic368 8

Friday 27 September 2013 18:42

Well, better out than in, they say!! Oh, wait...

JasonUMN 15

Friday 27 September 2013 18:44

That brings a new meaning to the phrase, "spit it out".

Comments

rakooligan 11

Saturday 28 September 2013 1:07

Dayummm

deeko2006 8

Saturday 28 September 2013 2:21

you can smell your ear?

kasmol 16

Saturday 28 September 2013 16:09

Speak to me, Ralph the wise and powerful!

lanco_fml 10

Sunday 29 September 2013 9:11

that's when you practice your matrix moves

pmacxx 5

Sunday 29 September 2013 15:22

You can smell your ear?

cho_bee 9

Monday 30 September 2013 1:26

I can't decide which line to use. It's either, "Can you hear me now," or "would you like fries that that?"

catanita 18

Monday 30 September 2013 12:00

WOW. You could reach and smell your own ear?

jimmywithsalt 19

Tuesday 1 October 2013 1:00

So sorry, OP. The rule with drunk people though is KEEP YOUR DISTANCE. You never know when and how far they will puke..

JohnTheLad 13

Tuesday 1 October 2013 8:36

Must always remain out of potential range of these peoples.

fakefairytale 8

Tuesday 27 May 2014 18:59

how does one smell his own ear?

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The Top

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 43

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “Want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 606

You deserved it 207

The Top

Today, I found out how hard it is to actually change light bulbs. I work with electricians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 303

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 108

You deserved it 6 061

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 546

You deserved it 13 226

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 761

You deserved it 3 634

Today, I met my father-in-law for the first time. He went on a big rant how men are superior intellects and women contribute nothing to society. Ironic, as it took me, a woman, 30 seconds to notice it's biologically impossible for him to be my husband's father. After 33 years, both he and my husband haven't figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 740

You deserved it 234

Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 285