Miscellaneous: Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/02/2014 10:01 - United Kingdom - Great Malvern

Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 865

You deserved it 5 019

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Same thing different taste

Gordon says you SUCK

By James - 01/04/2020 17:00

Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 1 322

By Anonymous - 02/10/2018 05:00

Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 474

You deserved it 840

Masterchef

By sarah4241 - 26/07/2015 21:04 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 782

You deserved it 21 150

By Anonymous - 22/09/2017 23:15 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 323

You deserved it 822

Never say easy

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 19:22 - United States

Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 437

You deserved it 53 490

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 948

You deserved it 2 841

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 558

By Annon - 26/11/2011 11:38 - Australia

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 835

You deserved it 2 484

By francesa_loca - 14/10/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 966

You deserved it 2 524

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 64 142

Next

Top comments

Wizardo 33

Thursday 20 February 2014 12:48

The fire is there just like the cooking skills you can't see, muggles.

pdp_fml 21

Thursday 20 February 2014 12:43

He should watch some you tube videos to learn how to cook.

Comments

fuggotmuggot 14

Thursday 20 February 2014 19:36

Well, how old is he?

thelittleghost 3

Thursday 20 February 2014 19:41

Was the egg good?

Lacist 19

Thursday 20 February 2014 19:42

Oh noo ur brother cant cook **** your life.

nannygirl1990 6

Thursday 20 February 2014 19:47

this sounds more like a f HIS life! it also sounds like something I might do because I quite typically forget what I'm doing and end up looking stupid like that..oh well provides my husband with plenty to laugh about. haha

Lang88 13

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:16

So did it work? Did he fry them?

bigdmc25 2

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:27

what part of that makes your life sux?? sounds like twin dumbasses....

bigdmc25 2

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:32

ok...since my last comment was kicked...let me rephrase....sounds like you have such an exciting life....can't wait for tomorrows story

guyssite 4

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:50

This would make sense if it was your brother's comment. "Today, I tried to cook eggs...without the burner on." Haha. How does watching your brother have a brain fart make it "F-My life" worthy for YOU? Tell me exactly how you were victimized by life in this particular situation....

LoopyLuuLuu 7

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:58

Just wait, in a couple hours we'll probably see "Today, I tried to do something nice for my brother by making him some eggs for breakfast. After several minutes of watching the eggs in the pan, I realized that I forgot to turn on the stove. My brother watched the whole time, laughing, and then he posted about it online. FML" That would just be perfect.

himemillie 2

Thursday 20 February 2014 21:09

I've done that before, but I was stoned off my ass...

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The Top

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 856

You deserved it 7 517

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 417

The Top

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 058

You deserved it 55 731

Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it, and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 751

You deserved it 2 409

Today, I realized that the past 10 years of my life was wasted on being a decent and helpful person only to have people lie about me, physically and verbally attack me, try to ruin my personal and professional life, and even cause me to go into debt and deep depression. All of this because I fell in love with a guy 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 187

Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 392

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 658

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I got my first tattoo. I felt good about it, until I told my mom, who was not happy. She responded by taking me out of her car insurance policy, family plan, and charging me for rent every month since I, "wanna be all grown up now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 695