By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 05:49 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 532
You deserved it 2 266

Same thing different taste

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Everything was fine until he asked about foster care. Some people just don't like/ want children.

I'm sorry that "man" turned out to be a boy op, you deserve a lot better.

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How do u know she wasn't in a committed relationship when op had her daughter?

tarlax 11

You're awful picky for someone whose main personality trait seems to be "judgmental, narcissistic douchebag". Is the "Tammy" in your username an ex of yours? If so, I think I know why she's an ex and why your profile says "single".

Well, it's a good thing that OP doesn't want to date you, huh?

Mathalamus 24

that's pretty damn hostile and arrogant of you to assume negative things. not everything is negative, you know?

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Damn son, when Mathalamus of all people calls you arrogant, you know you really ARE a self centered doucher.

This is still a far cry from suggesting foster care.

She could be an ACCIDENT, but not a mistake. A mistake would imply op regretted it or wished she could take it back. My brother and I were from a bad marriage, but my mom doesn't really regret it, because she got us. And who says there was unprotected sex? Both birth control and condoms fail. There's plenty of accidental children, but they aren't mistakes. But trust me, there are many great people who don't care about whether their sperm/egg made a child or not. If you can't handle that, that's you. Not everyone is like you, thank the gods.

How do you know the kid was a mistake a lot can happen in under 2 years you know from the start of the pregnancy to a 14 month old baby, she could have been married and lost her husband (death) or the marriage fails. Stop being such a judgemental asshat and get off your high horse.

I was raised from the age of 2 by the greatest man I've ever met. He never made my mother feel like her having a small child was a burden. There are definitely MEN out there that will step up to the plate for someone they love. There's nothing wrong with another wanting children, but there is something wrong with you, and your horrible attitude towards children. Your bio says joyful and positive, that's a lie.

Nothing wrong with not wanting children* it's late here.

Whoa dude. Children are a no-no for me, too, since I frankly can't stand them. But you're making all us childfree people look like gaping assholes. Do the other singles of the world a favor and don't date ever again, would you?

I knew right off the bat this comment was going to be absurd the moment you started it off with "no one", because actually plenty of people date others who have kids and view them as their own. You really should stop assuming and being so judgmental. Idiot.

There are men and women who help raise and view children who don't have any biological linking to them as theirs. I don't think it was the not wanting to take care of the child but the suggestion of putting the kid in foster care. Also, calling the child her mistake is a bit of a copout. How do we know she wasn't planned? This isn't 1930s, people break up even if they have kids.

Are you ******* serious? I am a single mom to a 2 year old because when I was 8 months pregnant, my husband told me he didn't love me anymore. Are you telling me that's my fault? I am also currently pregnant because my ex boyfriend raped me. I suppose that's my fault too?

fpants2010 18

My almost-6-year-old son has been raised since he was 13 months old by a MAN who loves him. No, he's not biologically his father, but he's one of the best dads I've ever seen. And it's even sweeter because he WANTS to be his dad, he's not obligated to.

To say "no one wants to take care of what's not his" is a gross overgeneralization. Lots of people take care of what's not theirs, blended families are actually very common now a days. I'm not saying you're not allowed to make kids a deal breaker, raising someone else's kid(s) is a lot of work, but don't be arrogant, those kids aren't mistakes to their parents. I'm lucky my step dad wasn't like you, he's raised me since I was 4. My mom and him met when she was 23, and he was 19, that's a big commitment for a 19yr old, but he did it without question. He has been the main financial provider in my life, even putting me through university and letting me live at home past 18, as well as raising me as his own. Even when my half-sister came along, there was no change, no favorites, he treats us exactly the same. My mom and him even got divorced, and believe it or not, I live with him, not my mom, because I wanted to stay at the home I grew up in, and he's my dad and I'm his daughter, no one is allowed to question that. He's now has a girlfriend with 2 kids around the same age as my sister (12 and younger), he's been raising kids that aren't his own basically all his life.

No one? Really? So my partner of almost 9 years who started dating me when I was 2 months pregnant and has been the only father my daughter knows, doesn't exist then? Mistake? I was raped by my ex, and fell pregnant after being abused so severely I was told I would probably never have kids. How is that a mistake? Being pregnant gave me the courage to leave the abuse and my daughter is the light of my life. Unexpected? Yes. Mistake? Never!

Darkreign333 23

Hello, I'm widow with kids. Am I suppose to consider my kids mistakes since he passed away? or accept that I'll never be loved again?

Something you should mention on the first date, that would have saved you the second date. Not everyone in this world is the same, everyone is brought up different, with different morals..

Speaking as someone who was a single mom, I've always been clear from day one about my son! Whether it was subtle ("Oh, my son really loves XXX, too!") or just flat-out telling a guy, I found it really helped clear the air. Sorry that your date had the nerve to ask such a question, OP!

That's a very mature way of breaking it to some guys. I went out once with this girl a month ago and through messenger she told me she had a daughter. I stopped talking to her after that. I think some women need to clear from day 1 that they have children with an ex. Plus, she put me in the friendzone. Lol

Some people want kids, some people dont. But him asking you about foster care was just plain retarded, especially after only 2 dates...fyl op.

OP, it might help next time if you make it clear up front that you're a mom. I'm adamant about not wanting children in my life, and I know I would probably be irritated if I'd spent two nights with someone who was clearly fundamentally incompatible from the get-go. But the way I would've phrased it is more along the classic lines of "I don't think this is going to work out" rather than "why don't you put your kid in foster care"...it takes a serious depth of assholishness to suggest something that repugnant. Glad you're rid of him.

Well, when you spend as much time as I do getting over your social anxiety to go on even one date, it's a bit of an investment. :p Plus, in my case, there's the fact that the town I live in is rather small, so there's almost always at least a few miles of highway driving involved in a meetup. None of which would make it the other person's fault that for not wanting to tell me everything about his life right away (although whenever I can convince myself to re activate my online dating profile, the first line is always a disclaimer about my child free stance, in all caps), but I doubt I'd be able to completely suppress disappointment, even if I'd do my best to keep that to myself.

You make it sound like the kid is a burden or something. Why was that not brought up on the first date?

I completely agree with you. She treats her own kid like its a second hand thought. If she's looking for a partner, it should be damn near the FIRST thing she mentions about herself.

Not wanting kids is one thing. That is a level of asshatttery I never thought I'd see. Good thing it was just two dates and not a month or something.

I disagree, you can like children, even enjoy spending time with them but not wanting to deal with the responsibility of having your own. Some people love spending time with their nephews / nieces or godchildren but love equally returning them to the parents.

I agree completely. I love children, I babysit every week and I think children are wonderful, but the thought of going through pregnancy and then raising my own child sends me into anxiety attacks if I spend even just a little bit too long thinking about it

Well then he was clearly a narcissistic asswipe. Bullet dodged.