Health: Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor...

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By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 469

You deserved it 2 651

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Same thing different taste

Whatcha doin' up there?

By That1FamousWRX - 07/02/2021 05:01 - United States

Today, I went to pull a nose hair out, only to end up pulling a spider out by its legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 107

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 78

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 167

You deserved it 3 986

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 829

You deserved it 5 386

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 667

You deserved it 266

By scorpionsurviver - 08/07/2012 09:47 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 401

You deserved it 6 581

The fear

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I was going through my Facebook feed when I saw a post of a man being wheeled to the emergency room with a spider stuck in their ear. The post has me scared enough to want to sleep with earplugs. I'm a 37 year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 143

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 714

You deserved it 2 520

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 551

You deserved it 3 839

By pinkXpress1023 - 08/07/2013 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 126

You deserved it 4 990

Grenith 21

Sunday 1 March 2015 0:12

Hop on the nope train to fuckthatshitville.

devildog562 33

Sunday 1 March 2015 0:10

Did your spidy sense kick in ?

Comments

MGS428 8

Sunday 1 March 2015 20:36

Could've been your urethra

howbout_thisone 13

Monday 2 March 2015 0:07

Oh, Gawd...my worst nightmare...At least you're ok now.

iwadasn 32

Monday 2 March 2015 0:50

Australia. Of course.

Callmeseansaur 9

Monday 2 March 2015 2:16

Thanks for the eternal nightmares.

jlnotary 33

Monday 2 March 2015 2:42

Absolutely horrifying. FYL.

qr_fml 21

Monday 2 March 2015 4:31

Where the **** do you live?

Febrezed 11

Monday 2 March 2015 4:35

Who,what,when,where,how, and WHY

pikawarriors 18

Monday 2 March 2015 4:50

I have arachnophobia, I probably would have torn my face off before reaching the car to go to the doctor's office

ImagineCrazy 27

Monday 2 March 2015 12:36

Much cringe..

usmc_sean 8

Monday 2 March 2015 13:58

Just another great example of what Australia has to offer

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The Top

Today, while on my usual jogging trail, a man stopped to give me some weird spreadsheet. On it was my whole schedule, with days I’d missed, what I was wearing, and how much my time was improving, along with some tips. I threw the papers and ran for my life. I’m too terrified to ever go back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 67

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 486

The Top

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 844

You deserved it 9 299

Today, I tried on a sweater in a store. It was a bit tight, but I managed to get it on. When I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway. After several failed attempts, a sales associate had to help me out of it, while other customers watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 477

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 088

You deserved it 4 376

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 720

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 887

You deserved it 7 000

Today, was the first day of potty training for my toddler. While watching a "How to Potty Train" video, I noticed my toddler was making a weird face on the side of the couch. I walked over to her, picked her up and a big pile of poop dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 874

You deserved it 5 705

Same thing different taste

Whatcha doin' up there?

Top o' the mornin' to ya

The fear

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