Miscellaneous: Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted...

By Anonymous - 27/08/2011 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a bar with some friends when my wife texted me asking where I was. Not wanting her to know I was at a bar, I told her I was still at work. She was sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 567

You deserved it 67 657

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Same thing different taste

Do you have an evil twin?

By Anonymous - 28/06/2017 01:44

Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 269

You deserved it 373

Explain yourself

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 233

You deserved it 4 591

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 880

You deserved it 11 718

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I called my husband during my lunch to tell him that I wanted to go out tonight for my birthday. We got in argument because he said we couldn't afford it. When I got home from work, he was gone, so I called his cell to see where he went. Answer: to the bar with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 599

You deserved it 3 555

Now what?

By svsksosnns - 11/05/2016 03:59 - United States - Olympia

Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 978

You deserved it 1 042

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 06:32 - Canada

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 951

You deserved it 3 041

By brokenatthebar - 24/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Carleton

Today, I was dumped via text halfway through my 8-hour bar shift. I had to deal with my co-workers and customers asking me how my vacation with my now-ex was for the next 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 775

You deserved it 323

Mysterious

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, my wife lied to me three times, saying she was at work but in reality she was home the whole day. Every time I ask her about it, she says she's not in the mood to talk. And says a lot of "I don't knows…" Almost like she has something to hide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 136

By marmarr - 15/05/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said, "Turn around." It was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 503

You deserved it 70 830

By horribleevening - 31/01/2019 22:00 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, my wife was sitting next to me surrounded by friends and she decided to start looking up the man that she had an affair on Facebook on her phone - all while I am sitting right next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 591

You deserved it 280

WCARlover 34

Sunday 28 August 2011 2:44

Ydi for lying

glutgyoogle 6

Sunday 28 August 2011 2:44

Fail. You better hope she's a forgiving person otherwise I'd get used to sleeping alone. YDI

Comments

hateevryone 14

Friday 7 October 2011 18:37

Don't Lie!!!

Djasso19 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 8:09

haha that's why you don't lie to ur spouse ydi

Mademoiselle_fml 34

Sunday 1 July 2012 13:23

And that's why you don't lie.

FML_a_Must 7

Sunday 5 August 2012 4:43

You see it's men like you that make girls ask so many questions and feel like you're hiding something! Just be honest, also if you feel the need to hide something because the person will have a bad reaction or be upset then it's pretty clear that it's wrong. YDI

Blue329 15

Monday 17 September 2012 1:12

Shouldn't have lied dipshit

maryd195 0

Tuesday 9 October 2012 7:16

This is why you don't lie to your wife. WE ALWAYS FIND OUT.

mike307 11

Friday 7 December 2012 21:39

Don't lie to your wife, not cool.

charvisioku 22

Tuesday 12 February 2013 0:57

Why would you lie about that? If you can't even tell her you're having a drink with some mates, I don't think your marriage is going to work out to be honest... why do these people even bother getting married?