Animals: Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of...

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 741

You deserved it 6 444

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 3 820

That's a thing

By Anon - 13/11/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 347

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 206

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 178

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 731

You deserved it 2 734

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 589

You deserved it 3 580

Don't feed the animals

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 14:00

Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 547

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 527

You deserved it 5 858

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 590

You deserved it 941

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 106

Epsilonyx 15

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:11

It's obvious...she actually controls the minds of goats, so she told the goat to ram into your genitals. Happens all the time.

erinnrose 9

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:11

That's a sign you should get over her

Comments

putloginhere 6

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:23

Oh I see what you did there ;)

Blacksxe 1

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:24

So am I the only one who is curious about the goat could be a sign?

GothicAngel17 24

Wednesday 11 July 2012 14:02

Yes.

lyssgross 16

Wednesday 11 July 2012 16:37

Somebody is grumpy today...

lifesabrees932 1

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:24

Just imagining that makes me cringe, FYL OP, I can literally feel some of your pain

Tophatz98 5

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:36

I feel bad for you. Getting hit in the balls hurts!

kimmi41509 10

Wednesday 11 July 2012 10:06

Atleast if you get back together, you'll laugh about it later.

EMTchic 14

Wednesday 11 July 2012 15:52

I'd laugh whether they got back together or not, LMFAO

martin_martian7 11

Wednesday 11 July 2012 10:21

Love hurts in many ways!

MissAmz 7

Wednesday 11 July 2012 10:22

If she resented you that much,(and I'm not saying that OP is a bad person) i don't understand why she would agree to go out with you or invite you out if that was the case. : /

ImaginaryFoe 0

Wednesday 11 July 2012 14:28

What makes you think she resents him? People watch and laugh at groin shot clips all the time. It was probably her natural reaction. Think for a minute: he's obviously not alright so no sense in asking, he's not going to want her to touch it or him as he's particularly sensitive, he can't really say much of anything. He just needs time so she gave it to him while distracting the goat from further attacking.