Animals: Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of...

By Nomoreballs - 10/07/2012 23:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 741

You deserved it 6 445

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2009 09:12 - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 080

You deserved it 3 820

That's a thing

By Anon - 13/11/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 347

Hangry

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 206

By StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing - 14/10/2015 16:22 - United States - Radcliff

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 179

You deserved it 2 310

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 18:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 733

You deserved it 2 734

By shando - 08/11/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spit directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 590

You deserved it 3 580

Don't feed the animals

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 14:00

Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 547

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 527

You deserved it 5 858

By LennyComa - 19/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 591

You deserved it 941

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 107

Epsilonyx 15

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:11

It's obvious...she actually controls the minds of goats, so she told the goat to ram into your genitals. Happens all the time.

erinnrose 9

Wednesday 11 July 2012 9:11

That's a sign you should get over her

Comments

oneFUCKINword 8

Wednesday 11 July 2012 10:52

Sorry about the goat thing, but maybe it's time to let go. Ex's are ex's for a reason..

LuckyLynx7732 5

Wednesday 11 July 2012 11:57

Use this crack to the nuts as a reminder of why you should never try to get back together with an ex.

Squelchy 1

Wednesday 11 July 2012 12:09

Well, it's your fault. She wouldn't have broken up with you if it weren't for the chest herpes.

mousey119 4

Wednesday 11 July 2012 12:11

To be honest if that happened to my boyfriend I'd laugh before checking he was ok,

Sugah_Shane1 2

Wednesday 11 July 2012 12:23

Don't read into it too much. She's allowed to make jokes at your expense. Especially as an ex

cBlackout 13

Wednesday 11 July 2012 12:33

Just play it off and get some ice. Make a joke out of it and you're fine.

MochiDango 4

Wednesday 11 July 2012 12:50

Goats can be very temperamental OP, I don't see why they are in petting zoos other than to amuse bystanders as little kids get head butted by them. I hope things work out, but if she didn't wonder if you were okay, it's probably not going to happen. I hope everything works out. FYL

brandy1 5

Wednesday 11 July 2012 13:08

At least it wasn't a rhino or something because those horns could have done some serious damage.

CastielJ 6

Wednesday 11 July 2012 13:13

Time to stop re-kindling and put the fire out.

perdix 29

Wednesday 11 July 2012 13:30

A ram is a sheep, not a goat. She probably laughed because you don't even know common barnyard animals.

laden_swallow09 34

Wednesday 11 July 2012 14:04

Reading comprehension, perdix. May wanna try again after a few hours. :)

Sencilia 14

Wednesday 11 July 2012 14:16

It says he was RAMMED in the balls by a GOAT. You know, rammed? Meaning charged?

hiphopchick7 1

Wednesday 11 July 2012 14:48

perdix u have no life Lmao, RAMMED not RAM

perdix 29

Wednesday 11 July 2012 15:34

Oh, you city kids are so cute. Goats don't ram, they butt. We should be talking about BUTTS . . . you go first ;)

hockeyoceancity 13

Wednesday 11 July 2012 15:51

I love reading these commenters comments to Perdix! He lures them in then makes them look stupid, like myself. But since you want to talk about butts, i was at this bridal dressing place yesturday and this girl weighs 565 pounds and has the ass that could swallow you whole! Gorgeous when she was in her dress! Now let's play guess the color of the dress!!!!