Intimacy: Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath... - FML

By lonelyguy321 - 27/07/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 270

You deserved it 16 594

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Same thing different taste

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 191

You deserved it 53 422

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 414

You deserved it 19 720

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 64 821

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 521

You deserved it 3 885

By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 860

You deserved it 4 209

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 269

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 724

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 374

You deserved it 47 208

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

Next

Top comments

SyraSid5 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

why were they there?

NeonRisk 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

*face palm*

Comments

TheSarge 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 23:01

well then go down and get in bed with them.

melmosuzanne 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 23:11

shouldve gotten down there!

dgaf247 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 1:26

Omg fat!! kill it with fire!

kroms001_fml 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:27

and look at you 173 - with your little gay pedobear blankie on - what... you think your cute or something ? You look like a fail to me... complete failure. get a clue tard.

jwwang258 3

Tuesday 27 July 2010 23:35

how is this a FML...?

jumpinurpants 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 23:37

u shouldve said "i'm cold. may I join u?" and then get ur ass whuped

ismokepot 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 0:10

wow?! haha u suck, don't know how to talk to girls much? desperate...

schwancy 2

Wednesday 28 July 2010 0:17

I feel like this FML requires further explanation. Why are there three girls in one bed? Or does the bunk bed have more than 2 levels. why are they half naked? Are you at camp ?? ... the list goes on.

jearojas 4

Wednesday 28 July 2010 0:23

Epic Fail

awesomesauce8 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 0:34

get you some!!!!!

MissChelle79 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 1:07

haha... sucks to be you :P

bbyychula710 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:29

lol awh mayb next time? ;)

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The Top

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 64

The Top

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 004

You deserved it 3 406

Today, my boyfriend is so terrified of having a baby that he won’t screw me, even though I’m on the pill and we have condoms. He gets so worked up, he usually goes soft before we get the condom on. His oral game is on point but I just want a good hard dicking, is that too much to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 180

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 499

You deserved it 5 019

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 548

You deserved it 5 026

Today, during my friend's group's science project presentation, the teacher yelled at me, "Stop making stupid faces at the presenters!" I was smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 289

You deserved it 3 891

Today, I was let go from my internship for "not putting in enough effort". I was working 50 hours a week for almost zero pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 080

You deserved it 2 725