Intimacy: Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath... - FML

By lonelyguy321 - 27/07/2010 14:43 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 270

You deserved it 16 594

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Same thing different taste

Morning motivation

By thermos - 03/02/2009 23:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 191

You deserved it 53 422

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 414

You deserved it 19 720

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 11:49 - United States

Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 878

You deserved it 64 821

By Ned - 29/08/2009 23:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 521

You deserved it 3 885

By VacationTSA - 19/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 860

You deserved it 4 209

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 269

By Dirty_Mind_69 - 20/07/2013 08:35 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 220

You deserved it 9 936

By Anonymous - 07/06/2012 17:41 - United States - Oregon City

Spicy

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 191

You deserved it 6 724

By killmyself - 23/01/2009 19:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 374

You deserved it 47 208

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

Next

Top comments

SyraSid5 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

why were they there?

NeonRisk 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 19:08

*face palm*

Comments

franciscovegas 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:39

how was it that you went to bed with three girls, when they were underneath you, and you were up above them? don't make any sense, man?

franciscovegas 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:41

are you a girl?

franciscovegas 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:43

are they your sisters?

franciscovegas 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:47

damn ati-flood protection.

XxFallenbladexX 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:48

Not really a FML. You may not be getting some, but that's Eye candy xD At least you don't spend every night alone in your large bed without someone to share it with, Never even getting a chance to be near something like that. (me)

juscber 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:51

don't you mean you were already asleep and were DREAMING about hot,half naked girls

soccerdude101 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 3:53

wow u r a loser son. I would've been down there by the time u finished writing this fml

boopiie 3

Wednesday 28 July 2010 4:01

wow I would of had dem chicks :P

tagerrun 1

Wednesday 28 July 2010 4:11

that's what u get for living in the uk

ordinarybadger 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 4:16

ydi for not spitting ur game hahahahaha

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Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Students Relatable Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 023

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

The Top

Today, as a security guard, I caught a kid shoplifting and confronted him. He ran circles around me for almost 5 minutes, then picked me up and dumped me in a builders' skip before escaping. To add to my humiliation, my boss questioned my suitability for the job, and advised me to update my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 844

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 960

You deserved it 4 355

Today, I mustered up the courage to take a dump in a public toilet so I went to the disabled toilet in our university library. I did my thing, the flush didn't work, I pulled the red string thinking it would do something and a buzzer started ringing throughout the whole university. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 2 375

Today, my wife was complaining she always has to put up the Christmas tree. So this year while she was out shopping, I decided to put it up. I set it too close to the fireplace and it caught fire. I'm a firefighter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 905

You deserved it 41 993

Today, I'm pissed about the fact that I've been fighting off the same cold for the last two weeks. At this rate, I'll still be sick when I need my next injection of the medicine that kills my immune system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 69

Today, I was short shifted at work because one of my employees decided not to show up. Furious, I wrote her up and made predetermined judgments about her. When she came in, I went off on her for being absent and leaving me stuck. She then informed me her mom tried to commit suicide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 165

You deserved it 62 537