Health: Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer...

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 242

You deserved it 7 148

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 559

You deserved it 82 922

By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 655

You deserved it 33 238

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 404

You deserved it 22 011

My chocolate

By oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 795

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 4 269

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 38 591

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 16:09 - United States - Deer Park

Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 700

You deserved it 3 685

By Gemini gang - 27/07/2019 04:04

Today, my family surprised me for my birthday by showing up with a chocolate cake and my ex-boyfriend from back home. They all forgot I'm allergic to chocolate, that I broke up with him about a year ago, and that he’s been trying to win me back ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 125

By Rubyscooby212 - 15/02/2015 04:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 341

You deserved it 3 739

By rejected4ever - 14/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 570

You deserved it 4 195

tomhofer 14

Monday 13 January 2014 14:28

That's depressing

Animekid126 13

Monday 13 January 2014 14:28

What a good boyfriend

Comments

awilliams44 9

Monday 13 January 2014 21:32

somebody just gained 10 pounds

im_only_humanxXx 5

Monday 13 January 2014 21:53

Wait, by what's the doctors reason? Lol

HJKM_fml 19

Monday 13 January 2014 22:28

My family always eats pizza in front of me and I'm lactose intolerant. So I get where you're coming from OP.

starcravingmad 5

Wednesday 15 January 2014 1:50

I'm also lactose intolerant. I've found that scraping melted cheese off something will still make me sick, as bits of it will have seeped into the rest of the food. Lactose pills are an absolute godsend, but as you have to take 3-4 pills per slice of cheese if you're really sensitive, you're quite limited to how much pizza you can consume (which I suppose is a good thing for my waist line). However, there IS a normal cheese that is lactose-free. It's called Cabot cheese, and it can be found at Walmart. As you're now no longer limited to horrible tofu cheese, have fun experimenting and make your own lactose-free pizzas :)