Intimacy: Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized...

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By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 014

You deserved it 59 017

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 19:18 - United States

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 747

You deserved it 37 983

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 10:00

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 546

You deserved it 326

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 643

You deserved it 134 221

By likeyourboss - 04/10/2013 16:05 - Denmark

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 728

You deserved it 5 955

Getting on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 23:00

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 296

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 20:00

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 869

You deserved it 1 619

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 1 193

By Delilah - 01/03/2010 08:53 - Norway

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 855

You deserved it 9 785

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 252

By tomchuq - 30/08/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 665

You deserved it 61 255

Nyxen 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 12:37

That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.

wollzilla 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 12:35

hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.

Comments

92689 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 19:38

And why **** your life? I'm confused...

ummhey 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 19:59

#52 ummm wat do you do then?? and i think jacking off can build up muscle...not a lot but some and its not a bad fml its just amusing

happygirl_fml 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:00

@19... hahaha i love you bc i can't tell if ur serious or not but either way that was hilarious

Victoria2103 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:08

Umm... what's FML about this? This is stupid and I can't believe they posted this one.

brkn_hearted 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:17

hehe, same here, but still not sure how this is an FML...

thelonelylurker 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:25

Maybe try jacking off with your right hand now.

SPQR_fml 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 20:51

Because this isn't an FML, I'm giving you a YDI.

trackrunner525 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 21:15

....ok?

lolPayal17 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 21:29

lol. #16. You're pretty weird.

genki008 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 21:31

like 73 said. perhaps a YDI, but definitely a TMI #64 haaha

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