Intimacy: Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized...

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 23:08 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 013

You deserved it 59 008

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/02/2012 19:18 - United States

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 745

You deserved it 37 966

I have no idea what I'm doing

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 10:00

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months and couldn't figure out how to use any of the equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 317

By dawg3360 - 07/06/2009 06:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 639

You deserved it 134 208

By likeyourboss - 04/10/2013 16:05 - Denmark

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 715

You deserved it 5 952

Getting on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2021 23:00

Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 20:00

Today, my hand fell asleep while I was masturbating. My own body rejected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 858

You deserved it 1 615

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 179

By Delilah - 01/03/2010 08:53 - Norway

Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 849

You deserved it 9 781

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 248

By tomchuq - 30/08/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 664

You deserved it 61 252

Nyxen 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 12:37

That's pretty impressive really. Maybe you should switch it up from time to time, and then you'd be able to do serious lifting with both arms.

wollzilla 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 12:35

hahah same. i lose arm wrestling when i use my right hand, but whenever i use my left, i own.

Comments

duchesse427 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 3:28

i don't get it. or maybe it's just no fml worthy

flybabe 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 3:32

#6 - hahahha, thank you =)

scottyz1 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 4:23

YDI 'cause it's not truly an FML.

macederrick 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 4:35

hahaha awsome

stankyjacket 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 4:54

yeah dude, I can grip something ridiculous like 300-400 pounds harder with my lefthand than with my right

alexgisforme3 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 6:22

haha

alexgisforme3 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 6:22

haha!!!!

alexgisforme3 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 6:21

haha!!! wow looool

abu3mair 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 9:36

thats why its advised that you alternate hands :)

that_guy_you_are 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 10:06

Use you feet.

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The Top

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 14 098

Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 835

You deserved it 175

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 9 880

You deserved it 21 304

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I agree, your life sucks 4 720

You deserved it 423

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I agree, your life sucks 4 557

You deserved it 1 617

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 871

You deserved it 3 863

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 333

You deserved it 11 284

Today, a girl told me, "You're so cute, like a monkey." I seriously don't know if it's a compliment or if I'm being insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 106

Same thing different taste

I have no idea what I'm doing

Getting on

Overdoing it a bit

Take it easy

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