Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly...

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 551

You deserved it 2 623

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Same thing different taste

By Unemployed - 02/06/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 984

You deserved it 3 597

Criminal Minds

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 964

You deserved it 3 987

By FreeOfCharge - 21/09/2009 06:06 - Canada

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 058

You deserved it 110 753

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 284

You deserved it 3 662

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 809

You deserved it 1 511

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 959

You deserved it 4 787

Close shave

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 02:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 451

By ReluctantAntEater - 21/08/2014 21:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 042

You deserved it 3 574

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 192

Demetra_fml 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:07

Vanilla a la insect-that-can-survive-nuclear-war! Mmm.

awesome_o 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:11

there's the extra protein you would've missed by not having nuts.

Comments

spaghetti542 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:25

The roach climbs up the wall in the warm room and falls into the ice cream machine. This kind of stuff happens all the time. Especially during the winter, they get nervous because of the cold and get ballsy looking for food. I say this FML is plausible.

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:27

At least it was a roach. They spend an insane amount of time keeping themselves clean.

akiranozaki 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:37

On the bright side, it could've been a poisonous spider. All the same, FYL indeed, go brush your teeth.

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

Wednesday 9 December 2009 5:38

Wow, would you bitches chill the hell out already?! Jesus Christ, you both tried to make a point. Shut the **** up already!

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

Wednesday 9 December 2009 22:36

edit: this showed up under the wrong post. This was supposed to show up under one of the 50-million starshine girl's posts.

starshine3987 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 20:31

^ Point making fail.

RachelTM 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 0:26

Hey, at least you won't have an allergic reaction. (-; I wonder what sort of name that ice cream would be called...

Dopeyrox 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 0:34

that's better then being dead.. but still gross

Whatsername6353 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 0:42

Ewww oh my god, that is sooo disgusting!

alwaysalady 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 0:45

The good news: Free Ice Cream For LIfe! the bad news : From there. That is nasty.

a_c_M_2010 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 0:56

Most bugs are actually quite safe to eat, and even healthy. But if it really bothers you, suing the ice cream shop is always an option...

ASA5G 2

Wednesday 9 December 2009 0:59

mm crunchy protieny goodness. lol one or Two Word(s):LAWSUIT

Gulo_fml 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 1:05

Don't drink coffee if you're allergic to roaches. While they have the beans waiting in a giant warehouse, roaches crawl all through them. So next morning when you get up and drink a cup o' joe, try to taste that roachy flavor.