Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I went to the ice cream shop after dinner. I am deathly allergic to nuts so I picked the vanilla. I take one bite and feel something crunchy, and see what I thought was an almond in the cup. I spit out the icecream in a panic. Good news? It wasn't an almond. Bad news? It was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 551

You deserved it 2 623

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Unemployed - 02/06/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 985

You deserved it 3 597

Criminal Minds

By Anonymous - 18/09/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 966

You deserved it 3 987

By FreeOfCharge - 21/09/2009 06:06 - Canada

Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 058

You deserved it 110 753

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 284

You deserved it 3 662

By Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 809

You deserved it 1 511

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 960

You deserved it 4 787

Close shave

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 02:00 - United States - Bisbee

Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 451

By ReluctantAntEater - 21/08/2014 21:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 043

You deserved it 3 574

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 192

Next

Top comments

Demetra_fml 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:07

Vanilla a la insect-that-can-survive-nuclear-war! Mmm.

awesome_o 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 23:11

there's the extra protein you would've missed by not having nuts.

Comments

lauralavenderbab 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 22:38

Uhhh ewww don't they clean the place ?

Zoey23 5

Sunday 5 February 2012 4:25

OMFG...

Laceyfrogs8 6

Friday 16 March 2012 17:36

ew gross! uuhhhhgggaaaa! :'o

natsaysheyyy 16

Tuesday 15 May 2012 21:48

So you sued them, right?

Kennuckle_fml 6

Saturday 17 August 2013 2:21

You know you can sue for that.

therosalina 33

Tuesday 31 December 2013 8:10

Be glad it was nothing poisonous. That's still really gross, though

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 20 February 2014 20:36

Good thing you found that...point it out get a refund and never go there again...still that is really too bad...

Onyx3288 22

Tuesday 17 June 2014 0:17

Sue! Sue! Sue them NOW!!!

KJ6 21

Thursday 19 June 2014 4:42

you just can't win sometimes.

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You deserved it 4 149

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You deserved it 3 079

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