Work: Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site...

By Anonymous - 24/09/2014 13:58 - United States

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 419

You deserved it 4 111

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 344

You deserved it 2 405

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 257

You deserved it 7 487

Kinky but reckless

By Also homeless - 16/08/2023 00:02

Today, I thought it would be a good idea for me and my colleague to fuck in the bathroom that no one uses. Turns out, the president of the company, who was here for a visit, had picked the perfect day to use it. Now we’re jobless and potentially spouseless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 889

By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 864

You deserved it 11 397

Where on Earth do you work?

By Embarrassed ass. - 23/10/2015 04:05 - United States - Oregon City

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 891

You deserved it 3 944

Animal

By Anonymous - 22/05/2017 12:00

Today, I worked construction building a hotel. I was taking out the trash when I suddenly felt an extreme urge to poop. I ran into one of the rooms and found an empty cardboard box to poop into. Finished, I closed the box and made my way to the door. I then saw my boss staring at me from the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 768

You deserved it 4 693

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 648

You deserved it 2 341

By Dhagiik - 24/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 183

You deserved it 1 145

#notyourmaid

By Anonymous - 17/05/2018 01:30

Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 542

You deserved it 362

Industrial logs

By wow - 19/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 535

You deserved it 36 950

alex_the_tiger 14

Wednesday 24 September 2014 18:40

And how could that possibly be your fault?

FrostHeart 36

Wednesday 24 September 2014 18:40

You know you have a smart boss when he blames you for 2 strangers having sex

Comments

trendkilla254 4

Friday 26 September 2014 5:37

what do you expect when he caught you recording it with your camera phone?

s0728 17

Wednesday 4 March 2015 23:50

Why are so many people voting ydi?

LoZelda123 20

Sunday 28 June 2015 18:51

what, did you provide them a condom or something? how is that your fault? o.O

xxhdxx 11

Monday 29 February 2016 3:58

you almost got bum-****** on that one. ha puns ???????

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The Top

Today, I found out my husband of four years has been cheating on me with his boss, who had been kind and treated me well. I never suspected it until I caught them in OUR bed. All he would ever do was come home and complain about how hard his job was. I guess that wasn't the only thing that was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 172

Today, my friend got a babysitter for the kids and told me she was taking me to a party. My son told me his band was playing at a party. I will be 40 tomorrow, so I thought this would be the best surprise birthday party ever. It WAS a surprise birthday party – for a friend of ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 091

You deserved it 3 533

The Top

Today, I received a text from my girlfriend in which she broke up with me. I was upset, but one minute later another text from her said, "Sorry, wrong person." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 197

You deserved it 3 697

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 786

You deserved it 4 636

Today, I was in a car accident on the way to work. I called my boss and told him I had to deal with the police and the accident report and didn't know how long it would take. He got mad and said I "should have picked a better time to do this". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 019

You deserved it 1 521

Today, after spending 5 years working towards my dream job, getting it, and while in training telling a risqué joke, I got suspended the next day, lost the job, and I'm now in a shitty admin job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 1 854

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 956

You deserved it 6 207

Today, I tried to tell a kid he couldn't skate without a helmet. He called me a Karen and pushed me into a fountain, so I called the cops. The cops arrived and questioned the kid, who said I deserved it for being a Karen. They accepted that, and told me to stop harassing kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 1 913