Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/01/2012 19:15 - United States

Today, I woke up and decided that I no longer give a fuck what I look like. Today is also the day a very attractive exchange student joined my private band lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 556

You deserved it 12 884

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Same thing different taste

By ManinBlack - 14/09/2011 01:30 - Canada

Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 987

You deserved it 3 476

By Pontiacman92 - 29/08/2013 07:07 - United States - Pueblo

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 079

You deserved it 9 014

By Lizz - 06/02/2009 19:25 - United States

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 709

You deserved it 3 117

By Nicole - 19/09/2011 20:16 - United States

Today, I went to school without makeup. No one recognized me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 768

You deserved it 44 561

By Meagan smith - 24/08/2011 20:33 - United States

Today, I started my new job as a teacher. Worried about how I looked, I asked a coworker if I looked okay. She said, "You look fine. Just like a normal high school kid." I spent the next half hour convincing her that I was not a student, but a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 240

You deserved it 3 668

By fatty - 14/08/2014 03:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 369

You deserved it 15 870

By gabby - 24/02/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 024

You deserved it 32 452

WTF dude?

By mtorres8789 - 27/06/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, our favorite teacher walked into our history class and everyone started whistling, I decided to join in by screaming, "Sexy!" The room went quiet and all heads turned to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 864

You deserved it 80 612

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 16:44 - United States - Rome

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 978

You deserved it 10 941

By Anonymous - 10/12/2010 13:05 - United States

Today, for the first time, a good looking guy was in my yoga class. Today also marked the first time I farted during yoga class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 812

You deserved it 5 607

Next

Top comments

TheMaster15 10

Monday 30 January 2012 1:29

Wow, great timing, man.

Calen5556 0

Monday 30 January 2012 1:32

Let's hope you have an amazing personality

Comments

Swagg47 0

Monday 30 January 2012 2:56

What a way to feel like even more shit ! Ha

chels1994 11

Monday 30 January 2012 3:29

So apparently you do give a ****

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 30 January 2012 5:54

Seriously.

capnbzarr 43

Monday 30 January 2012 19:01

Yep, I see at least one, maybe two ***** being given here.

dtfickus 0

Monday 30 January 2012 3:35

What country? She might not care

yandizzle 0

Monday 30 January 2012 3:41

there's always tomorrow OP

e_bethell 0

Monday 30 January 2012 3:44

Thats what happens to me... When i do care there are no sexy ppl around but when i dont care there are sexy ppl crawlin around everywhere!:/

ChelseaRaeS 7

Monday 30 January 2012 3:51

There's always tomorrow

oldirtybasterdSE 0

Monday 30 January 2012 3:53

You deserved it

notred43 0

Monday 30 January 2012 3:55

Not so private...

FreckleFace9 1

Monday 30 January 2012 4:18

That's what you get for not caring about what you look like!

kmarie2014 7

Monday 30 January 2012 4:23

Well if you do start caring again, you'll wow them with an extreme, because the change will be so dramatic, you'll be more noticeable. But as long as your nice, they'll like you without looks being involved

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 279

You deserved it 3 577

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 100

You deserved it 7 572

The Top

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 965

You deserved it 2 914

Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 758

You deserved it 213

Today, my man comes from a rich family but he doesn’t get along with them too well, and considers himself “blue collar by choice”. Apparently this entails forgetting basic human dress code, like it being a bad idea to wear a black shirt, unbuttoned, untucked, and with cargo pants for his new high-level office job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 210

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 178

You deserved it 1 278

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 842

You deserved it 2 314

Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 150