Animals: Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong... - FML

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By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 713

You deserved it 2 520

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Same thing different taste

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 167

You deserved it 3 986

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 828

You deserved it 5 385

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 058

You deserved it 164

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 070

You deserved it 12 476

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 1 988

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 78

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 127

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 124

You deserved it 7 503

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 645

You deserved it 771

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 336

You deserved it 7 654

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Top comments

Domonator 16

Friday 19 February 2010 16:32

Spider: Today I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a heartless giant bit my leg off. FML

lexuality 0

Friday 19 February 2010 16:06

euuuuuuurrrrggghhh. i had a friend who had the same experiance. gross. fyl.

Comments

Redders123 1

Friday 19 February 2010 22:16

Ok that's gross! Gotta ask how people can vote, based on the post, that they deserved it. WTF??

sockybabe 0

Friday 19 February 2010 22:19

Are you sure it wasn't an eyelash?

natepyron 0

Friday 19 February 2010 22:20

I've seen this exact one before

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Friday 19 February 2010 23:19

eww 

mzhonesty 0

Friday 19 February 2010 23:30

That's disgusting...oh, and the average person swallows about 1,000 spiders in their lifetime. I just wanted to be a part of the Fake A Statistic bandwagon.

cococita 0

Friday 19 February 2010 23:38

okay the "everyone eats spiders" thing freakked me out so I looked it up. Spiders are paranoid and smart, so they wouldn't choose to walk into a strange, damp place. They would be scared of the breathing and the movement, too.

91_92_93Gal 0

Friday 19 February 2010 23:40

bahahahaha! I have no idea why I find this soo funny :P I just picture it.

VittiChan 2

Friday 19 February 2010 23:58

yeahh no one cam do a test to prove that u eat 8 spiders in a life time unless u set up a camera right from when they r born and watch them every single night and be like "....ooo there goes one...ooo there's another...." and just 2 test that EVERY

zydr8 0

Friday 19 February 2010 23:58

Yum! Extra protein! The average of a person unknowingly swallows about 104 bugs per year. LOL! Not really FML worthy but I got a laugh out of the comments on it.

Fabby_fml 2

Saturday 20 February 2010 0:14

How do you know it was specifically a spider leg? o_o

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You deserved it 30 905

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 40 923

You deserved it 7 785

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 732

You deserved it 383

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating to pictures of Olivia Rodrigo on his computer. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that he hasn’t made love to me in weeks because he “couldn’t get horny” or that he’s 38 and apparently sexually attracted to a teenybopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 147

Today, I was making a smoothie. I didn't plug in the blender until after all the ingredients were inside. I pushed the 'on' button. It was still on when I went to plug it in. With no lid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 418

You deserved it 33 341

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 235

Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 168