Animals: Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong... - FML

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 704

You deserved it 2 519

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Same thing different taste

By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 158

You deserved it 3 985

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 5 381

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

By dre_bro11 - 06/11/2011 12:17 - Australia

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 064

You deserved it 12 473

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 197

You deserved it 1 986

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 78

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 592

You deserved it 125

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 121

You deserved it 7 502

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 324

You deserved it 7 652

Next

Top comments

Domonator 16

Friday 19 February 2010 16:32

Spider: Today I was taking a walk, minding my own business, when a heartless giant bit my leg off. FML

lexuality 0

Friday 19 February 2010 16:06

euuuuuuurrrrggghhh. i had a friend who had the same experiance. gross. fyl.

Comments

lottaluv 0

Friday 19 February 2010 18:53

did not need to kno this info

paramorefan125 0

Friday 19 February 2010 18:58

ugh, sick .....fyl dude

Pomo 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:05

As said before the 8 spiders legend is totally false. Proof here : http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/spiders.asp

Sophia93 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:06

ew

xMyazXtr3me 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:12

ughhhhh dude I would puke if that happened to me. I hate spiders.

aback 4

Friday 19 February 2010 19:14

Mmm...spidelicious.

23basketball 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:22

Haha! That is freaking disgusting!!

CallMeHush 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:26

There was an old woman who swallowed a spider, That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her, She swallowed the spider to catch the fly, I don't know why she swallowed the fly, Perhaps she'll die.

angry_girl 0

Friday 19 February 2010 22:25

FTW

heykelsey 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 1:25

over 9000 points to you

zdizzle123 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:54

haha I have that book!!! :) it's bomb diggitay!!!

zdizzle123 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 6:57

^ oops this comment was supposed to be attached to 52 :)

babybubz 0

Friday 19 February 2010 19:32

EEEEEW! I would've passed out. I have arachnophobia and even seeing a spiders LEG would make me freak. that sucks OP.. 

Conker37224 0

Friday 19 February 2010 20:09

that sounds mmm so good

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The Top

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

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You deserved it 132

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, my mechanic asked me if I wanted to keep my car's aftermarket tracking system, which he found had died. That’s when I realised that my ex-husband must have installed that after our divorce, and it’s been in there for over 6 years. God only knows how long it tracked me before dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 906

You deserved it 103

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 922

You deserved it 9 941

Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 192

You deserved it 1 779

Today, my husband and I came clean to his overbearing parents about our private wedding. It started with them accusing him of making rash decisions, and somehow descended into an argument amongst themselves that ended with his mom deciding to divorce his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 882

You deserved it 4 606

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 2 012

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 877

You deserved it 22 546