Intimacy: Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of...

By dfkjhregoiuberiug - 09/12/2009 09:20 - United States

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 055

You deserved it 4 859

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 223

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 906

Couldn't have been that great

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 16:59 - Netherlands

Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 147

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 114

You deserved it 5 067

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 102

You deserved it 44 836

See ya

By Emily - 14/02/2011 20:25 - France

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 946

You deserved it 7 385

By barf - 06/02/2015 23:00 - Ireland

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 824

You deserved it 3 274

By elo - 20/12/2008 05:50 - France

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 914

You deserved it 32 469

By anonymous - 24/10/2014 01:25 - United States - West Babylon

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 390

You deserved it 7 207

Sing me to sleep…

By anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 155

tflnfml 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 16:21

Nasty. Maybe he's into you? No pun intended.

crazyarsedfly 14

Wednesday 9 December 2009 16:15

= (That's unacceptable on his behalf.. and rather gross..

Comments

Ninjaface 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 9:40

You should have helped him. That's what friends do.

jchansfan 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 13:03

I don't get why you're sharing a bed with your friend in all honesty. Like aren't you a bit old for sleep overs in the same bed? :P

crypt6uardian 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 18:19

Yeah.. if the guy is not getting any.. and you are sleeping in the same bed.. odds are pretty good he will become horny... meaning his brain switches off.. he is not seeing his sweet friend.. he sees a female he finds attractive.. still dumb on his part.. for WHATEVER reason.. if a woman is sleeping in the same bed.. and the guy is straight.. you are teasing him. He didn't force himself on you at least. He should have made a move on you.. and got rejected instead. Far less dramatic and maybe just maybe she would have said yes... what he did was moronic.. only REALLY kinky women will be up for that.