Intimacy: Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of...

By dfkjhregoiuberiug - 09/12/2009 09:20 - United States

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 055

You deserved it 4 859

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 223

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 906

Couldn't have been that great

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 16:59 - Netherlands

Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 1 147

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 114

You deserved it 5 067

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 102

You deserved it 44 836

See ya

By Emily - 14/02/2011 20:25 - France

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 946

You deserved it 7 385

By barf - 06/02/2015 23:00 - Ireland

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 824

You deserved it 3 274

By elo - 20/12/2008 05:50 - France

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 914

You deserved it 32 469

By anonymous - 24/10/2014 01:25 - United States - West Babylon

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 390

You deserved it 7 207

Sing me to sleep…

By anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 533

You deserved it 155

tflnfml 0

Wednesday 9 December 2009 16:21

Nasty. Maybe he's into you? No pun intended.

crazyarsedfly 14

Wednesday 9 December 2009 16:15

= (That's unacceptable on his behalf.. and rather gross..

Comments

betsy5 0

Monday 25 January 2010 23:53

he probably wants you. but that's gross. you should have pleasured him. ;D kidding.

Yoshiminiyuki 0

Monday 1 February 2010 3:23

thats happened to me before. it was so creepy. fyl and mine.

dle0105 0

Saturday 20 March 2010 1:04

Who's to say he didn't get a case of blue balls the previous night?

satanic_fml 13

Monday 14 June 2010 7:51

stop bitching and get back in the kitchen

realangelofdeath 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 23:11

YDI for sleeping with your best guy friend. You probably weren't good enough in bed, so he had to finish by himself.

BabesYourAStar 0

Saturday 6 November 2010 7:46

is he hot? If so GET IN THERE again.

angel55033 12

Friday 19 November 2010 7:48

not that big of a deal besides you did stay with him lol

Tarrantian 2

Saturday 1 January 2011 12:49

There are so many things wrong with this - and the fact so many people think it to be okay / blamer her is simply astonishing. I know that this is the Internet, but honestly, that does not mean you should just post random crap or belittle people for no apparent reason. I mean, I hope, really hope, that most people on here aren't serious. That would simply be horrible for the human race.