Health: Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went...

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 3 270

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Same thing different taste

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 96

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 200

You deserved it 1 701

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 7 257

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 044

You deserved it 2 323

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

By sicktomystomach - 02/05/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 707

You deserved it 5 218

karagarren 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once

ElainaCutsYou 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.

Comments

Nikkee411 0

Monday 12 September 2011 4:16

Sounds like food poisoning..yuk

SexySheWolf 0

Monday 12 September 2011 4:43

what you gotta do is barf in a garbage can or a bag and sit prepared on a toilet... but ya that totally sucks... could have been worse

ErinKidCannibal_fml 0

Monday 12 September 2011 5:02

I've done that... Twice, but in my own house with the same friend over both times.

Dflips 0

Monday 12 September 2011 5:25

I lmao to this

Priscillaaa_fml 1

Monday 12 September 2011 5:52

How do people accidently shit their pants

DaniD365 0

Monday 12 September 2011 6:05

Shit happens lol even when u least expect it ;)

bfftiera 3

Monday 12 September 2011 7:41

Same thing happens to me except i was at my sisters house and I did it quietly but the whole house woke up.

i_am_that_one 0

Monday 12 September 2011 8:03

Oh shit. I didn't even know that was fukin possible. Haha

dansco 24

Monday 12 September 2011 8:47

Just run! Put your pants in a bag before you have to explain lol

Characterise 0

Monday 12 September 2011 17:28

lol mannn so bloody embarrassing what did you do with the dirty crap? and FYI I always make sure I get a bucket first and sit on the toilet incase it does happen