Health: Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went...

By sadddddd - 11/09/2011 01:54 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling sick. I went to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet, waiting to throw up. When I finally did, I violently shit my pants at the same time. I was at my friend's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 881

You deserved it 3 270

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Same thing different taste

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 96

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 081

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

By Anon - 11/09/2016 07:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 200

You deserved it 1 701

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 7 257

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 044

You deserved it 2 323

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 3 710

By sicktomystomach - 02/05/2009 17:05 - United States

Today, during lunch at school, a wave of nausea came over me. I ran to the bathroom and made it just in time. As I was throwing up, I set off the toilet's automatic flush and my vomit came flying back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 707

You deserved it 5 218

karagarren 8

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Oh man. everyone has to go through that disaster at least once

ElainaCutsYou 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 8:51

Sit on the toilet and lean over the tub.

Comments

AidanLikesLlamas 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 15:39

someone had a fun night

RyNo24 4

Sunday 11 September 2011 15:43

Ah, the old puke and crap, classic.

SteelCladAngel 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 15:54

When you're feeling ill...always ALWAYS sit on the toilet with a garbage can in front of you!

amazinemo578 4

Sunday 11 September 2011 16:17

go up and start singing with them!

ArienMC 4

Sunday 11 September 2011 17:52

Wrong one. Fail.

leadman1989 15

Sunday 11 September 2011 16:28

That's why you do the sit and lean. Sit on the toilet and lean over to the sink or tube if they're close enough. If not you have to do the camel back... Srry op feel better soon. :)

lindsay42711 12

Sunday 11 September 2011 16:57

aww don't worry. it's happened to me too!

Neshalicious84 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 18:42

Wtf why does everyone say violently? How the hell can u take a violent shit lol

SteelCladAngel 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 23:09

Would you rather people say 'I had violent bowel spasms causing the shit to forcefully expel itself from my ass' ?

ben9694 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 19:20

This if ****** stupid!

patacus 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 19:38

ah, the puke all over the place, and myself, or shit my pants dilemma. i went through that when i had this really bad flue one time when i was younger. i ended up being hospitalized cus i got so dehydrated i couldnt keep anything down anymore. so i had an excuse.