Love: Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to...

By Dulieu - 10/02/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 233

You deserved it 168 397

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Same thing different taste

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 108 952

By eeelise5296 - 01/03/2012 20:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture. In the mirror I could see a bra and thong sitting on his bed. They weren't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 428

You deserved it 3 207

Why would you do that?

By HughGorgy - 20/03/2009 05:37 - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 387

You deserved it 103 233

By Yudor - 21/12/2008 09:40 - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 471

You deserved it 2 456

By Wronged - 21/09/2009 10:53 - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 522

You deserved it 3 574

Creeped out

By HadToApologize - 03/11/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 381

You deserved it 23 088

By danskinnow - 05/10/2009 02:01 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 125

You deserved it 34 699

By je suis christy - 09/01/2015 19:04 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 945

You deserved it 3 145

By Lilie - 17/12/2008 10:25 - France

Today, my boyfriend came round to drop off some underwear, which I'd left at his house. Not all of what he brought was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 380

You deserved it 2 513

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 414

You deserved it 19 720

cyndee_2010 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 3:46

i hope she dumped you

lemonkid44 0

Tuesday 10 February 2009 4:30

sorry man. no sympathy for cheaters. you had to get caught eventually

Comments

Seegtease 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 1:40

#25 +1 for truth

xPedobear 0

Monday 23 August 2010 2:56

-1 for doing the +1 thing. yes I realize I did it too I was making a point

wowlifeblows 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 7:59

you're not welcome here- you're the slime we're all complaining about. f*** you.... not your life.

Newo_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 19:43

asshole

cobrakid77678 0

Friday 27 February 2009 0:09

wow you cheating mother ******. i hope she kicks your sorry ass then dumps you.

Bee123_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:43

Bee123_fml 0

Saturday 28 February 2009 23:45

asshole...what the hell?? first of all you shouldn't b posting, her life is the FML unless she was smart enough to dump you!

FlickMyBean 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 3:19

Well you had a 50/50 shot. Way to take a chance though.

kiiiirrraaaaaa 0

Monday 2 March 2009 4:08

agreeed #25, seriously I can't just leave without my panties and bra .. . feels wierd and its not cool to be a player

hotdamn 0

Monday 2 March 2009 20:01

Hey, sometimes you're in a rush and don't have time to find them!

xpapercutsx 0

Monday 2 March 2009 20:02

whoa, babe. sorry if it was from someone before her, otherwise, you get no sympathy. cheaters are insecure losers.

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 160

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 715

The Top

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 749

You deserved it 10 428

Today, at the grocery store, the scanner at the register gave a higher price for a product than the price tag on the shelf. Apparently I was the one being unreasonable for insisting to pay the price advertised on the shelf, and not some secret price they never told me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 111

Today, I work at a rural hospital where personnel is so short-staffed that we have to take double shifts without time to prepare food at home, and the place is too small to have a place to order food from. I lived off of sandwiches the entire week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 721

You deserved it 115

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 170

Today, my mom won't let me have the extra hotel room she booked all to myself, even though it's just me, her, and my sister. Basically I can share a room with her or with my sister, but I can't be alone. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 449

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 471

You deserved it 4 937

Same thing different taste

Where am I?

Why would you do that?

Creeped out

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