Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the...

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By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 866

You deserved it 5 785

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Surprise

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 343

You deserved it 4 366

Freaky...

By shinra - 18/07/2018 20:30

Today, it's the third time in a row that I've woken myself up in the middle of the night by pouring freezing cold water on myself. I didn’t even have water on my nightstand last night. I woke up in the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 479

You deserved it 304

By KitchenFlooder - 01/02/2018 01:30

Today, I flooded my entire kitchen. The water was cut off at night and I left the faucet open without realizing. When the sound woke me up at 5am, the water reached my ankles. I frantically tried to sweep it out before my mother woke up at 6am. I didn't make it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 544

You deserved it 1 864

By tarheels526 - 08/02/2009 00:53 - United States

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 630

You deserved it 27 475

Fragile

By lithium-dreams - 16/07/2022 22:00

Today, I attempted to open a water bottle. My hand started bleeding before I was able to get the cap loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 163

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 1 899

By lordtimbit - 15/03/2015 15:01 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I fell in the shower and knocked myself out. When I came to I turned off the water and called my mom. She seemed more worried about the amount of water I "wasted" than she was about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 720

You deserved it 3 120

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 978

You deserved it 8 669

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 976

You deserved it 43 655

Blackout

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 22:00

Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 622

txgirl09 5

Monday 7 November 2011 23:36

OP must have been exceptionally tired to not wake up from having water spill all over him. Poor guy. :/

cj7geojeep 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 1:43

You must be a really heavy sleeper to not wake up after getting drenched in boiling hot water, OP :P

Comments

ohmyhotdogonabun 0

Tuesday 8 November 2011 19:36

161, I just watched the 3rd one last night lol

lajaynay 15

Tuesday 8 November 2011 22:06

Crazy right?? Toby is a douche!

aJaguarinRed 9

Wednesday 9 November 2011 0:23

You sleep like a person with a head injury.

Grouse 5

Wednesday 9 November 2011 6:32

*insert witty "wet dream" joke here*

xXmileenaXx 6

Thursday 10 November 2011 3:51

i lost the knife i keep for my safety in my sleep i cant find it now :(

simonelli 9

Wednesday 28 March 2012 3:30

Ha! I've done that before...damn sleepiness!:)

Cass_x 22

Monday 11 November 2013 23:16

I've done that before. only with me, it was lemonade.. sticky.. -__-

slenderbitch 2

Tuesday 21 January 2014 2:39

THIS SERIOUSLY JUST HAPPENED TO ME LIKE A WEEK AGO!!!!! Hahah awesome I'm glad sombody shares my misfortune

pauladrexler 3

Thursday 14 July 2016 14:43

I did that same thing a few weeks ago

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Today, after being an "expert" in autism for over 40 years (yeah, I'm not a doctor, just autistic) I thought I'd seen it all. Bad relations, failed friendships and job interviews, etc. Now I find out there's such thing as a regress and I might completely lose the ability to talk. On top of that I'm losing my eyesight. Bummer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 106

Today, my girl was giving me a BJ when my dog started howling. She keeps going; my dog keeps howling. She stops, my dog stops. We start getting it on again and my girl starts giving me a BJ again; my dog starts howling louder this time. So we stop. My dog stopped me from getting some. This is a first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 253

The Top

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 715

You deserved it 2 205

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 231

Today, I watched as my Tinder date arrived at the coffee shop and mistook another woman for me. He never realized she was the wrong girl, and they spent the entire date together before leaving. The only similarity between me and the other woman was our hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 636

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 544

You deserved it 6 423

Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my third story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 747

You deserved it 35 949

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency, and that I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom had ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 958

You deserved it 3 346