Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML - FML

By Tanner - 07/04/2012 02:26 - United States - Salem

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 562

You deserved it 10 734

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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 447

You deserved it 11 656

By JustADream - 24/02/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 576

You deserved it 9 471

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 272

You deserved it 12 023

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 258

You deserved it 4 968

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 967

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 22/05/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 779

You deserved it 6 539

Help!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 405

You deserved it 8 095

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 774

You deserved it 6 758

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 341

By lunarclips - 27/06/2016 14:08 - Canada - Brandon

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 096

You deserved it 1 242

Next

Top comments

FatelBlade 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:19

Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.

zingline89 18

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:20

Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.

Comments

sweet_candy_ 17

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:33

I wonder how you're going to get off.

acetheone 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:36

atleast they didn't super glue you to a toilet. you obviously did it yourself after a fifth of vod. YDI op.

maosquare 18

Saturday 7 April 2012 12:45

Does the place smell like a Russian sorority toilet?

kimiko521 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:36

Mad roommates? Drunk party? Mad spouse? Prank?

P374RD3D 9

Saturday 7 April 2012 11:07

We demand details!

rubberduckie94 13

Saturday 7 April 2012 19:21

They are friends with Johnny Knoxville.

beckyismuhname 2

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:40

haha i now know what to do to my friends at sleepovers!

SweetPerfectionn 3

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:41

Crazy night, huh?

parpora 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:45

Wow it's really possible ?? Hot water can normally work ? Am I right ?

siickman 7

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:45

25 its kinda what HE would say ...

itsgen 16

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:47

How the **** do you wake up glued to the toilet?

MerrikBarbarian 9

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:47

I'd love to see the doctors face with this one.... For those who don't know the kind of superglue which bonds to plastic does so by chemically melting a thin layer of it... Imagine what op's ass will look like...

rattusrattus 18

Saturday 7 April 2012 14:27

A semicircle of red, painful butt-skin, one would imagine. I've seen someone who superglued their fingers together and we dunked it in white spirit. It sounded painful.

MerrikBarbarian 9

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:49

Hot water would only work on heat sensitive glues like multi-temp glue gun glue. Most glues require a chemical solvent to break them down- especially super glue.

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 548

You deserved it 7 856

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 227

You deserved it 7 532

The Top

Today, I'm covered in scratches because a feral cat found its way under the house and tore apart the A/C duct to climb its way into my room in the middle of the night. After 30 minutes of chasing it, I got rid of it, but my room now smells like cat piss and I'm applying Neosporin to places I should never have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 78

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 098

You deserved it 3 657

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 432

You deserved it 11 013

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 675

You deserved it 6 174

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 103

You deserved it 7 013

Today, I was told that because I have an anime profile picture, I’m obviously extremely ugly in real life. I’m not ugly, I’m trans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 908