Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

FML for mobile
Free

By Tanner - 07/04/2012 02:26 - United States - Salem

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 565

You deserved it 10 739

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
From beaches to campsites, embark on a journey filled with laughter under the sun... and a few sunburns! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 458

You deserved it 11 662

By JustADream - 24/02/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 586

You deserved it 9 478

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 279

You deserved it 12 027

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 268

You deserved it 4 971

By loveloves154 - 30/03/2018 15:00

Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 973

You deserved it 274

By Anonymous - 22/05/2011 20:31 - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 786

You deserved it 6 541

Help!

By Anonymous - 25/11/2012 06:56 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 417

You deserved it 8 103

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 765

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 641

You deserved it 342

By lunarclips - 27/06/2016 14:08 - Canada - Brandon

Today, is the day I graduate. Today is the day I have explosive diarrhea and I haven't moved far from the toilet since I woke up this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 101

You deserved it 1 244

FatelBlade 8

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:19

Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.

zingline89 18

Saturday 7 April 2012 8:20

Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.

Comments

llCHR15ll 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 16:09

Pins and needles much?

laurenobrien 4

Saturday 7 April 2012 16:14

Now you'll never have to get up to go to the bathroom!

Zangetsu67 5

Saturday 7 April 2012 17:48

Looks like you're in a sticky situation ehh

zyprexa_fml 10

Saturday 7 April 2012 17:58

Yowch! It must've hurt when you tried to take it off.

hateevryone 14

Saturday 7 April 2012 18:01

How did you manage to get in that situation?

icrest80 4

Saturday 7 April 2012 18:07

I'm sitting on the toilet right now!

skater009 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 18:18

At least you had your phone to inform us :)

rickyricky528 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 18:34

What a night huh?

rickyricky528 0

Saturday 7 April 2012 18:34

What a night huh?

dukie420 4

Saturday 7 April 2012 19:14

I hate being stuck in the office

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Delivery Food Vegan Keys Transportation Embarrassing Love Awkward Dating Facebook Social Media Anxiety Shopping Dogs Animals Family Death I need your advice First Dates Sex Honeymoon Intimacy Health Hair Money Technology Parents Kids My ex

The Top

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 454

You deserved it 4 445

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 107

You deserved it 6 469

The Top

Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at Wal-Mart. This would have been fine had he not broken up with me because he was "moving to Canada." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 378

You deserved it 763

Today, my date walked out on me after I told him I was devout in my beliefs, including saving myself until marriage. Apparently, meeting me at Sunday services didn’t twig him to my faith, and he actually thought religious girls were all secret sluts like in the pornos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 357

Today, I found an old photo album in my Facebook account, which had pictures of previous hangouts with people I called friends at the time. I deleted it because they progressively cut ties with me over time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 250

Today, I was smoking while driving. A cop pulled me over and asked if I knew what I did wrong. I thought he could smell the tobacco, so I decided to just admit it. As it turns out, I was going well over the speed limit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 320

You deserved it 39 822

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 725

You deserved it 5 462

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 126

Same thing different taste

Help!

Nice mental image

Top comments

Comments