Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my...

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

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Same thing different taste

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 456

You deserved it 3 020

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 281

You deserved it 8 774

By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 116

You deserved it 4 060

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 23 397

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 11:00

Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 66

By Brook363 - 27/05/2009 15:39 - United States

Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 794

You deserved it 3 110

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 844

By wellokaythen - 14/05/2013 19:52 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 932

You deserved it 5 119

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 71

By minimum wage - 02/04/2012 08:38 - Canada

Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 341

You deserved it 2 405

garrettcodd 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:07

the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...

kingnate16 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:02

did u join him?

Comments

mirrrbissonnette 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:31

sounds lovely.

shutupYDI 4

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:31

at first I read it as "sleeping". I don't know how but I was wondering why everyone was being so damn cruel. FYL OP

gamerhead 3

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:31

should went "This is Sparta!" and kicked him off.

cetlawizard 15

Wednesday 15 June 2011 1:05

absolutely! SPARTA! lol

Siji 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 1:54

Or into it! >:)

soccerscout7 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:32

I love the use of the word 'relentlessly'. LMAO.

Tarak_fml 7

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:33

I love the way this is worded haha "relentlessly ********" lmao

MrSexyPants 14

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:33

Only in Louisiana.

ambermary101 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:38

I live in louisiana.

thatonename 7

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:43

good for you. want a cookie?

ambermary101 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:45

no?

xxlauruh 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 0:13

I do.

MrSexyPants 14

Wednesday 15 June 2011 0:33

I live in Louisiana too; I know this firsthand.

MrSexyPants 14

Wednesday 15 June 2011 0:33

I live in Louisiana too; I know this firsthand.

btstig 11

Wednesday 15 June 2011 4:30

I live in Louisiana too I know this firsthand.

mea_iloveskiing 26

Wednesday 15 June 2011 5:40

I don't live there but I wanna cookie (:

ambermary101 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:36

Guess who's cleaning it up..sucks for you OP.

nekro_onslaught 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:46

so u were just watching him shit?

rockindyl22 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:47

Had he eaten corn?

stallion2521 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 23:47

did he wipe?

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The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 516

You deserved it 389

The Top

Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 295

You deserved it 345

Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 306

Today, I started my new job at a security company. In the first 15 minutes there was a bomb threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 014

You deserved it 3 030

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 315

Today, I rang up a very rude customer. He was covered in cat hair and so were his reusable shopping bags. I’m very allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 116

Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. They shouted "Surprise!" as I walked into the room. In pure shock, I dropped the groceries I was holding, including a bottle of wine, which shattered. I spent the first 10 or so minutes of my party cleaning red wine and glass off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 96

Same thing different taste

There goes the neighborhood…

You OK dude?

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