Intimacy: Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights...

By SterlingSilver91 - 03/09/2011 23:49 - Canada

Today, I woke up to a text from a girl I had slept with two nights ago. It read, "Please don't get mad if you notice a rash on your private parts. Sorry in advance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 182

You deserved it 42 723

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 432

You deserved it 15 958

By acw2110 - 20/02/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 706

You deserved it 12 049

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 28/09/2013 11:44 - United States

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 770

You deserved it 40 327

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 391

You deserved it 8 831

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 8 259

By larvagirl23 - 18/06/2009 15:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 922

You deserved it 5 325

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 269

You deserved it 62 390

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 725

You deserved it 33 263

By is_that_right - 27/12/2014 19:14 - United States - El Paso

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying "Hey there." She quickly replied, assuring me that she's not cheating on me. Uh, okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 979

You deserved it 2 948

OcampoFTW 4

Sunday 4 September 2011 8:57

At least she told you bout it

danford80 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 8:58

Wow. Anytime a conversation starts with please don't be mad or we need to talk it never ends well!!

Comments

tibbz87 5

Sunday 4 September 2011 16:05

WOW...,*****!

kp4294 2

Sunday 4 September 2011 16:08

Damn!! At least if you get it you know who it came from. You don't have to worry about searching for that person. Lol

Mikay617 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 16:10

YDI. That's exactly why you don't sleep with people until your with them or know about them first!

bischkeboy 3

Sunday 4 September 2011 16:30

Well. Having sex with someone and having an STI and not disclosing your condition before sleeping with them is sexual assault in most western countries. Hopefully you live in one of those, and not a country where they kill you for pre-marital sex.

jobsman99 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 16:57

oh my. got the drippin dick.

kensikos 6

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:06

Anal?

xxFroggyxx 6

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:12

That's Sad. But At Least She Told You.

perdix 29

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:28

I once got a rash from a girl I slept with -- it was so worth it! The serious, incurable STDs don't involve an immediate rash, so whatever she gave you is easily treatable.