Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my...

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By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 167

You deserved it 3 986

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Same thing different taste

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 713

You deserved it 2 520

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 127

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 78

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 74

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 828

You deserved it 5 385

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 645

You deserved it 771

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 964

You deserved it 1 141

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 1 988

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 469

You deserved it 2 651

Nutz101 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:07

I have to stop eating while reading FML's

jojimugo 20

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:13

If you swallow 8 a night, you should do yourself a favor and move out of the amazon river

Comments

ThatAss 14

Thursday 27 December 2012 13:50

Reading this while laying in bed with a daddy long legs above me ...... Thanks for the thought FYL

reflexion213 11

Thursday 27 December 2012 16:23

KMN!!!

ashbash0338 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 16:38

Omg yuck!!!

khriss_khriss 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 17:46

Um ew that is disgustingly disgusting...

scottyrocks123 21

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:13

I love OP's username.

niquenique_ 7

Friday 28 December 2012 0:59

dafuq did I just read...

micahdunk 13

Friday 28 December 2012 3:42

Just another reason to hate braces.

ambipurr17 3

Friday 28 December 2012 13:30

Omg I would die if that happened to me :///

Krimzon 5

Saturday 29 December 2012 11:09

Tape thy mouth when thoust slumber.

bmxbikeco 7

Saturday 29 December 2012 17:21

OMG...i just cringed!

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Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I don't pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well, technically, my fiancée." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 479

You deserved it 14 260

Today, the girl I’ve had a crush on for months told me she scored a Tinder date and she’s so excited to go out with him. Just last week, I worked up the courage to ask her to be my girlfriend and she told me she doesn’t want a relationship, and “doesn’t believe in love anymore.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 171

The Top

Today, I have a permanent illness. Whenever I'm too unwell to manage the housework or children, my hubby does even less than usual. As soon as I'm well enough, I have a mountain of work to do, which makes me sick again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 141

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 104

Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 123

You deserved it 903

Today, while delivering for a building supply company, I was sent to an incorrect address. I attempted to turn around and got the 24-foot truck stuck in the mud. The homeowner left for work and then called the cops, saying someone was trespassing on his property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 583

You deserved it 409

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 901

You deserved it 27 498

Today, the only constant person in my life is the guy that smokes outside my apartment building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 131

You deserved it 1 531

Same thing different taste

Hmmmm, breakfast

Top o' the mornin' to ya

The passenger

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