Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my...

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By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 167

You deserved it 3 986

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Same thing different taste

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 713

You deserved it 2 520

Hmmmm, breakfast

By Spiderchick - 26/09/2019 12:00 - Germany

Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 596

You deserved it 127

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 78

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 74

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 828

You deserved it 5 385

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 645

You deserved it 771

By ThatsIncentive - 15/12/2016 01:59 - United States - Granite Bay

Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 964

You deserved it 1 141

By dirtbikeguy - 23/07/2015 13:05 - United States - Chicago

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 1 988

The passenger

By BurnItOff - 19/04/2024 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 93

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 09:04 - Australia

Today, I went through the nightmare of having to go to my doctor so he could remove a living spider from my nasal cavity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 469

You deserved it 2 651

Nutz101 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:07

I have to stop eating while reading FML's

jojimugo 20

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:13

If you swallow 8 a night, you should do yourself a favor and move out of the amazon river

Comments

danial1214 21

Thursday 27 December 2012 4:59

Spiders are a good source of nutrition.

pattayarick 8

Thursday 27 December 2012 5:10

We're there enough pieces to make a whole spider (I hope )?

naturalbadassnba 11

Thursday 27 December 2012 5:27

OMFG i would die of disgust!! Hahaha I'm so sorry that tramatic experiance happened to you

Miki101 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 5:35

Yummy.

Kyouzou 15

Thursday 27 December 2012 5:54

I hear bleach helps with that, lots and lots of bleach.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 6:07

It would be worse if it was a large wolf spider.

U_GotitDude 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 6:15

That's a horrible way to wake up...

missadoodikins 9

Thursday 27 December 2012 6:24

Chew your food better.

j3ebrules 13

Thursday 27 December 2012 6:28

How did you know it was specifically a spider? Did you count all eight legs? If so, clearly you didn't chew it well enough.

suboy 10

Thursday 27 December 2012 6:33

Protein??

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I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 152

Today, somebody stopped by the front desk at the hotel I work at to report a vehicle had its headlights on. I wrote down the info, including the plate. Hours later, after my shift was over, I finally realized that it was MY vehicle. The battery was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 121

You deserved it 42 508

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Today, I went down a four-hour YouTube rabbit hole trying to understand the Onision drama. I finally snapped out if it, thinking, "I don't care about any of this. What am I doing with my life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 500

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 546

You deserved it 4 565

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 303

You deserved it 2 505

Today, it snowed. Rather than enjoy the view, my roommate had to complain every five minutes about the mentally challenged neighbor shovelling snow all day long. As long as he doesn't shovel it into my yard, I really don't care what he does to pass the time in lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 100

Today, I was having a debate with my friend, who actually believes karma is real. He got very angry with me and stormed off, tripping over his own feet in the process. I laughed and asked what he'd done in a past life to deserve that one. He responded by getting up and punching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 665

You deserved it 39 209

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 242

You deserved it 2 722

Same thing different taste

Hmmmm, breakfast

Top o' the mornin' to ya

The passenger

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