Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML - FML

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 993

You deserved it 5 285

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Same thing different taste

By unattractive - 18/12/2010 09:32 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 539

You deserved it 6 364

By Maria - 14/03/2017 15:00 - United Kingdom - York

Today, my boyfriend had his arm around me. He pulled me closer, so I looked up, thinking maybe he wanted a kiss. Turns out he was picking his nose over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 663

You deserved it 403

By anonymous - 23/01/2016 01:56 - United States - Indiana

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 478

You deserved it 2 905

Picky picky

By booger - 18/07/2013 07:41 - United States - Plano

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted, "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 755

You deserved it 15 038

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 367

You deserved it 4 455

By HaleyIsabelle - 08/03/2010 20:54 - France

Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 3 712

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 970

You deserved it 89 321

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 372

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By Anonymous - 17/07/2019 22:00

Today, when my boyfriend came to bed, I rolled over and watched as he used his pinky to clean out both nostrils, then eat it what he found. He’s almost 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 294

Next

Top comments

pussywhipedmofo 4

Tuesday 28 June 2011 22:10

Today, I was trying to pick this disgusting huge booger from my gfs nose while she was asleep. She just woke up. FML.

shovels 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 22:11

Who 'nose' why he did that...

Comments

greekgal44 14

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:00

isnt this a repeat?

razzledazzle21 23

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:06

He was just trying to help :p

mea_iloveskiing 26

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:17

I guess OP doesn't know how to cook

Offensive_fml 4

Wednesday 29 June 2011 1:36

He wasn't picking your nose! he was fingering your nostrils!

NYkid2K8 5

Wednesday 29 June 2011 2:09

At least you know he takes care of you.

jennaizbeast 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 2:10

WTF?!?!

chelspm 5

Wednesday 29 June 2011 2:16

Your boyfriend is awesome!

SlimWeezy27 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 2:39

"Today, I picked my girlfriends nose. like a boss"

kag525 5

Wednesday 29 June 2011 3:07

well u sure know how to..pick 'em XDD sorry I had to :/

waywil 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 12:02

Appearently not, but it sounds like he does XD

julianne8174 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 3:44

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww if my bf did that I'd kill him (not literally speaking just figuratively don't worry dudes im not a 19 year old murderer whos a girl....) [people these days..... >_< ]

waywil 0

Wednesday 29 June 2011 11:58

So your a 19 year old murderer that's a boy?

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The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 220

You deserved it 5 961

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 14 098

The Top

Today, a coworker confided in me that he’s taking a leave of absence to get treatment for alcoholism. I feel for him, but I’m also incredibly jealous. He’s better at our job while drunk than I am while sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 192

Today, I woke up to find my parents singing "Happy birthday" with lots of hugs and kisses. My birthday is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 742

You deserved it 2 718

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 076

You deserved it 5 041

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 441

You deserved it 10 118

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 880

You deserved it 8 044

Today, I have what is probably a cold sore on my upper lip. I also have a mustache, which keeps rubbing against it. Because of this, no matter what I do, it stings. The next few days are fixing to be very, very long and miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 181