Love: Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 2 961

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 899

You deserved it 2 850

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 988

You deserved it 14 929

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 351

You deserved it 28 338

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 668

You deserved it 222

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 657

You deserved it 4 165

By hornyloser - 02/05/2011 18:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 890

You deserved it 70 397

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 814

You deserved it 12 089

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 610

You deserved it 37 039

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 764

You deserved it 3 624

Boundaries, dude!

By Anonymous - 14/09/2019 06:01

Spicy

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 497

You deserved it 236

Next

Top comments

meatball4122 11

Monday 27 April 2015 0:24

Please tell me she atleast pays the phone bill

IAmzephyr 22

Monday 27 April 2015 0:28

plot twist: she was having sex with the phone

Comments

wickedhyype 17

Monday 27 April 2015 1:16

Lmao, did you join in?

wakemeupplease 21

Monday 27 April 2015 1:26

I really hope yoy mean ex gf!! Dumb that bitch!!

ItsDutch 16

Monday 27 April 2015 1:30

How does one go about "dumbing a bitch"?

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 27 April 2015 6:16

Simple, you beat her senseless with a baseball bat, then claim you mistook her for a burglar. Brain damage results along with instant dumbing down.

Aimeejasmine 15

Monday 27 April 2015 18:41

^^ Ladies beware of this one

sandman676 20

Monday 27 April 2015 1:42

Why didn't you join in?

booze_n_bitches 37

Monday 27 April 2015 1:52

So many down voted comments. I'll join the pile.

xluciferx666 21

Monday 27 April 2015 1:59

You sure she wasn't just talking to Jake from State Farm?

jryan2 16

Monday 27 April 2015 4:36

He is irresistible with that red shirt

CzechIsBack 15

Monday 27 April 2015 2:10

Maybe you guys can reconnect? Or just drop it like a call!

StickyPickles 33

Monday 27 April 2015 2:42

Side job? One would hope that's the case.

CharlieM78 9

Monday 27 April 2015 2:46

If you didn't throw her cheating skanky ass out the ydi

toshaleigh 15

Monday 27 April 2015 3:03

OP dump her and don't waste time on her cause she ain't worth your time anyways

Xandrick 22

Monday 27 April 2015 3:59

I love how because the unfaithful one in this situation is a woman, all "leave her" comments are downvoted. Ah, double standards... OP, sorry to hear that. Time to take serious action.

Aimeejasmine 15

Monday 27 April 2015 18:44

They're down voted because no one here knows the situation well enough to give that kind of advice to OP. Go shove your double standards up your ass the same would happen in a reverse situation.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said, "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him every day now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 531

You deserved it 32 698

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

The Top

Today, I stuck my hand out the car window and noticed my arm fat flapping in the wind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 10 478

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 490

You deserved it 16 556

Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 535

You deserved it 28 762

Today, I was fired because of a "poorly executed" task. My boss claims that I just copypasted an existing document in a new file; I was instructed exactly to take the document and move its content to a new table without changing anything. It was discussed beforehand, but looks like his own messages are not a proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 86

Today, my boss is out of the office and sent me an e-mail asking me to multiply two numbers together and send her the result. Apparently she doesn't know that her smartphone has a calculator app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 596

You deserved it 189

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 656

You deserved it 27 061