Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic...

By Anonymous - 11/01/2016 21:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to my roommate's friend rustling in the attic without permission to be there. When I asked how he got in with all doors and windows locked, he simply said, "It's a secret." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 038

You deserved it 1 407

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Same thing different taste

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 738

You deserved it 3 368

Hush hush

By Louis - 02/09/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 224

By sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 554

You deserved it 1 630

By leez - 01/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 1 840

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 681

You deserved it 69 958

Non confrontational

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 03:00

Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 021

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 433

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 5 043

By e - 02/12/2010 09:24 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 455

You deserved it 4 336

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 14:28 - United States

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 257

You deserved it 11 322

kimsimwolf 8

Tuesday 12 January 2016 8:55

A secret he can explain to the police after you call them.

slingerslasher 24

Tuesday 12 January 2016 9:00

Good thing he didn't pull the secret string, revealing the secret compartment of my secret box!

Comments

FemskyD 26

Tuesday 12 January 2016 11:32

He can use that knowledge well, getting out of jail

manuwish 9

Tuesday 12 January 2016 12:55

omg wierdo :(( I'm not sure but eventually a restraining order would be advisable..

vikky538 28

Tuesday 12 January 2016 14:05

Did he disappear after that secretly?

missyfiona89 28

Tuesday 12 January 2016 15:18

It'll be no secret on why the police are at his door.

FalloutScrolls 25

Tuesday 12 January 2016 16:16

And if he asks why the police are there, just tell him "It's a secret." Also, change the locks.

siona 17

Tuesday 12 January 2016 17:46

May be time to get a new roommate?

interesting33 36

Tuesday 12 January 2016 18:40

Maybe the roommate let him in?

jazalea8 16

Tuesday 12 January 2016 21:49

He has a copy of the key...

greenwichgal 15

Tuesday 12 January 2016 22:40

A secret that's he's drunk?

hmrhoades 18

Wednesday 13 January 2016 2:13

Maybe your roommate gave him a key and it was supposed to be kept a secret?

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The Top

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

Today, my adult daughter was hospitalized for severe fever, diarrhea, and fainting. The doctor couldn't find any cause other than sleep deprivation, because I started making her wake up at 7 am. I’ve never met anyone so ridiculously weak in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 563

The Top

Today, I got a callback for a job, asking for an interview. I got very excited but also anxious because it's my first job after graduating from uni. While I was on call scheduling the interview, I realised I'd accidentally applied to the Royal Post to be a mailman. Now I have to call again and explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 1 067

Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 768

You deserved it 3 099

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 883

You deserved it 1 603

Today, I learned that there are people who actually, unironically believe that Danny Masterson is innocent. Faith in humanity: Gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 252

Today, the ex who I'm still in love with told me he wishes we could be together, but that first I really need to get over the fact that he already has a wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 7 381

Today, after a week of being tired and depressed, I realized my bottles for anti-depressants and muscle relaxants had gotten switched around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 671

You deserved it 1 491

Same thing different taste

Roommates from hell

Hush hush

Non confrontational

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